Month: September 2010

When was the last time you slept in a bathroom?

I have cold, and can’t really sleep lying down.  I don’t make a very good sick person, and like to sleep when I know I’m not missing anything.  I also remember all my dreams and feel sad if I don’t get to have any. On Sunday night, I couldn’t sleep at all.  As the pillows crept further and further up the headboard, I knew this was a battle I would not win.  I reached for the toilet roll I’d been using to blow my nose every five minutes, and realised I’d run out.  I went into the bathroom to get more, and actually fell asleep on the toilet, mid-sneeze. This was not, however, the first time I found myself sleeping in a bathroom.  The first time was at the end of my second trip to Paris.  My reason for the trip doesn’t bear repeating, except to say that the whole experience was so very strange that I’m not surprised it ended in a toilet. A friend and I had taken the bus from Paris to the airport to catch our early flight home the next day.  We’d slept in the airport before the flight out a week before.  I’d always wanted to sleep in an airport before a flight, so we did.  And we planned to do it one more time. I raided the vending machine with the last...

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The Mascot

    This is the cat I belong to.  Her name is CJ and if ever a pet deserved their own blog post, it’s her.    Her mother was the first cat to tolerate my presence, and her name was Cappuccino.  This was another nod to my love of coffee.  And the fact that her markings were like that of a capuchin monkey.  Cappuccino Junior has the same markings, only in gray, with an extra splotch on her shoulders. CJ likes expensive food and shoes.  She does headstands.  And if she really likes you, she’ll do a headstand in your shoes.  She is a merciless flirt, and a magnet to those who wear black.  Anyone who comes to visit gets antihistamines when they arrive and use of a lint-roller when they leave. She is psychic.  She knows the precise moment anyone is going to sit on the couch, and she races to get there first.  She usually wins. If I’m eating, she will jump up and nudge the fork away from my mouth.  This sometimes ends in disaster, for her, when something lands on her head.  You’d think there would be a photo opportunity when that happens, but she is too quick for the camera.  She’s quick, but she’s also a poser. Sarge is allergic to cats, but she has accepted him as co-human.  She even lets him disturb her...

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A Noodle fell into my Coffee

I hit Publish on Tuesday’s post, and then had coffee and noodles, while sitting at my desk and dealing with more official stuff.  I was addressing envelopes and slurping my lunch when I looked up and noticed my post had been Freshly Pressed.  One particular noodle might have been so shocked that it jumped ship off the fork and landed in my coffee.  Just maybe. I won’t go all Sally Field on you, but I will say that I genuinely appreciate all the comments and feedback I’ve received.  I’ve read every comment and look forward to responding to people.  Being able to connect with people on a human level is really what my life is about, and if you found something in my writing to connect to, the pleasure is mine.  I write this blog  for myself, and sometimes forget that people may be reading it. Thank you for your words and I’ll keep writing mine. Last night Sarge and I went to this gig.  I love live music, and go to see it every chance I get. Even if the musicians are new to me, I always get something out of the experience, and often come home with new favourites.  This is what happened last night. As I looked down at the gig stamp on my hand, listened to the music and wondered what word rhymes with palimpsest,...

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I Am Not a Number

The alarm clock is tuned to BBC Radio 4.  If I hear one more feature on benefit cuts, taxes, the Government, or even cricket, I think I may actually throw the radio out the window.  This is not the kind of stuff I want to wake up to in the morning.  Especially considering I live it.  I see the outcome of benefits and benefit cuts every time I look my bank balance.  I am on benefits.  They have their place.  I would like to be off them, though.  I am not going to comment on the actual statistics and numbers.  Other people have done that better than me.  I left my University Psychology course because of the stats.  I don’t like them.  I’ve never been one. Every time I listen to a report that rattles off the statistics of people on benefits, I want to shout at the radio/screen, and I sometimes do.  That’s me, you bastard.  I am not a number .  And I want to work.  I’ve liked all the jobs I’ve had.  And I want another one. I went to the jobcentre yesterday, and they asked for a number before they used my name.  I am not a number. My name is Lorna.  I write things that aren’t numbers.  I am my parents daughter.  I’m a friend to many, and one man’s girlfriend.  One cat has...

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I have been cheating on this blog…

On Friday, I listened to this and this, which made me want to start watching his actual stuff.  Sarge has both of Werner Herzog’s box sets, and he’s wanted me to get into his films for ages.  It can be said that every night is film night in this house.  Films and booze.    Friday film nights are special because they include not having to get up the next morning, and therefore, more booze. We sat down with My Best Fiend.  And beer for Sarge, cider for me.  That’s where the cheating bit comes in, see.  I drink drinks that aren’t gin and lemonade. Since moving to Edinburgh, I have rediscovered my love of cider, and drank quite a lot of it here, on Saturday.  There was cider and friends and laughs and card games, and an actual accessible toilet in the pub we were in.  There was no leaving the pub to go off in search of another place to pee.  That has happened before.  I once left the original pub and went to one place after another with Out of Order Signs on their accessible toilet doors.   It took me half an hour to find one, and all I remember of that time was begging Sarge not to make me laugh.  He failed, but I didn’t, arriving at a working and unlocked accessible toilet still needing it.  But...

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