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Wedding Planning

Humor Life Shots Wedding Planning

The One With Sarge's Name In It

7th June 2013

And so, I’m sitting here listening to the wedding mix. I’ve stopped watching wedding shows and started eating again.  Mostly Tic-Tacs.  For nostalgic reasons.  And because I know I should eat, but I’m not actually hungry. I’m still writing emails.  And my mother arrives on Monday. And then Sarge and I get married on the 15th.  Think of us. While I’m away, I shall leave you in the capable words of Elsa from Feminist Sonar, Susan from Adventures in Low…

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Humor Life Wedding Planning

A Love Letter To Pepto-Bismol

5th June 2013

Dearest Pepto, Thank you. You’re lovely. We first met when I barfed at the very top of a moving Ferris wheel. I lost a friend and corn-dog that night. But you were there, in all your pink splendour. I don’t like pink as a colour, but I can certainly drink it. Fast-forward to yesterday. All those emails. Hopefully we’ve seen the last of them. Not counting the actual replies to said emails. Which would be really useful. I can read…

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Humor Life Wedding Planning

Wedding-Planning Is An Endurance Test

14th May 2013

Just when you think you’ve gotten through your to-do list, there’s another list. And damn if there isn’t more to do on it. People say that marriage is a marathon and not a sprint. I believe that. I’ve also started to think of wedding-panning as a test of endurance. To get you ready for the marathon. Last week, I failed that test. But I got a lot of reading done. In bed. While drinking coffee and pretending I was 12.…

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Humor Life Wedding Planning Writing

My Inner-Child Needs A Paper Bag

7th May 2013

Picture it: Levittown, 1980-every-summer. A young girl is watching the sun sink lower in the sky and waiting for someone to take her to the carnival down the block. Her grandparents and her father have probably drawn straws. Who gets to hold her hair back this time? Because she’s gonna barf. But she’s too excited to eat. So it’s the dry heaves. And full on gagging, how attractive. And she’s barking. That’s a nervous cough. But she could be doing…

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Disability Humor Life Wedding Planning Writing

Thinking Outside The Shoes

16th April 2013

And so, I’ve kinda spent all day looking for wedding shoes. It’s no secret that my original ‘bridal vision’ involved Doc Martens. I got one of those visions after I figured out what exactly a bridal vision was, and I’m still not really sure. Anyway, wedding Docs. Problem is, I don’t really like white. Or flowers. But I saw myself in wedding boots for a few reasons. I need the support, and I can’t wear something that I step out…

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