Coffee Talk Humor Life Writing

How To Shop When You Hate Shopping

24th July 2017

The only shopping I like is book shopping.

I buy myself new clothes about once every 3 years, I don’t follow trends, and malls are not my happy place.  Unless we’re talking books, coffee, or movies.

And today I want to talk about clothes.

After we booked THE TRIP, I got excited for a bunch of reasons.  One was the chance to shop in stores that carried clothes in my size that I would actually wear.

But then I realised I might need a shopping trip before I went shopping.  I looked in my closet and saw the same clothes I bought on our last trip, and the trip before that.    And some sweatshirts I’ve had since I was 12 years old.

All of my shopping recently has been for Isla, so anything I want to get has to somehow magically appear in the 10 minutes before there’s a melt-down.  Mine, not hers.  Since I don’t find shopping a relaxing experience,  the last thing I want to do on a shopping trip is shop for myself.  Unless it’s books.

However.  Last week I found myself in Inverness.  Without Isla.  I figured it would be a good time to get stuff to put in the suitcase for the trip.  Y’know, the one that should be light, but not actually empty.

I managed to get some stuff.  Stuff to wear.  On my body.

My friend and I were in and out in two hours.  With no melt-downs from yours truly.

I thought I’d share my tips and tricks for shopping when you don’t like to shop.

These might be old news to some of you, but I don’t care, but I’m just really excited  somewhat pleased to share these tips with you.

Have a plan.  Go in knowing what you need.  Otherwise you’ll come out with candles.

Don’t go in hangry.  Because that’s a real thing.  Bring a friend to throw chocolate at you and back away slowly.

Wear the kind of clothes you want to get.  Because you won’t be in the mood to buy summer clothes while wearing a sweater.

Wax your face.  And don’t leave the house without tearing the strips off first.  Bonus points if you’re a woman.

Wear what my Mom calls a ‘good bra’.  Because you can’t fit four boobs into one blouse.  Bonus points if you’re a dude.  And what the shit is a blouse, anyway?

Race yourself.  I got in and out in under two hours.  These were my rules:  No shopping for anyone else, bright stuff only, and when in doubt, get it.

and finally:

Reward yourself.  Perhaps with a nice salad cheeseburger on the way home.


The cheeseburger I had was less photogenic Photo by Yanko Peyankov on Unsplash


P.S.  Of course, you could shop online, but stuff would have to arrive before you needed it.  Because, y’know, that would actually be useful.

What works for you? 



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  • Reply crackingadulthood 24th July 2017 at 4:58 pm

    Excellent tips! Eating before grocery shopping is critical for me, otherwise it’ a bad idea.

  • Reply Macxermillio 24th July 2017 at 5:04 pm

    In the same boat. Book shopping is everything. I only go shopping for clothes and food when I am in actual need for them. Otherwise I’m happy.

  • Reply waggytalesdogblog 24th July 2017 at 5:15 pm

    Blouse!! Great Post

  • Reply broadsideblog 24th July 2017 at 5:27 pm

    Good tips.

    Depending how stylish you want to be, looking at magazine/online images beforehand can help with inspiration. I hate shopping as well and usually end up buying the 200000000th scarf and pair of earrings instead of clothing.

    But I do adore!!!!! my new black patent Birkenstocks I got in Berlin, though. LOVE how comfy they are, and even cool 20-something are wearing them too.

    I scored my best/prettiest dress for 20 euros from a street vendor in Budapest, so go figure.

  • Reply Carol 24th July 2017 at 5:59 pm

    Online is more palatable for me. I can linger and view, choose, change my mind and deselect, hem and haw, all the while enjoying my big chair and a beverage of my choice. Amazon is my favorite, and with prime shipping it’s a win-win.

  • Reply Martha Goudey 24th July 2017 at 6:37 pm

    This is how it rolls for me. Good tips. I wear clothes until you can see the food stains…well, I do have some pride and look reasonably put together with my jeans, t-shirt, and hoodie, but I resist clothes shopping as long as possible.

  • Reply cafelita ☕ 24th July 2017 at 8:27 pm

    I totally agree with you about buying books and coffee ☕️ so happy I found your blog!

  • Reply patriciau 24th July 2017 at 11:44 pm

    “Otherwise you’ll come out with candles.” Made me snort-laugh! Man, we are so much alike.

    • Reply Lorna 26th July 2017 at 9:51 am

      Wish Upstate wasn’t such a long-ass drive, dude.

  • Reply Phil Taylor 25th July 2017 at 1:15 am

    What works for me is shopping alone. If someone has a different opinion than mine on the clothes I want to buy I get very frustrated.

  • Reply Sara Miller 25th July 2017 at 4:31 am

    Totally agree that book shopping is the best kind! Good job surviving non-book shopping–you definitely deserved that cheeseburger!

  • Reply globalhousesitterX2 25th July 2017 at 8:26 am

    One thing I have noticed in the UK and parts of Europe is the men folk follow around their woman. OMG!! Here is me trying to look at a bra, with some person saying “What about this one, dear” For that one moment I want to scream. Some things in life you just want some space to contemplate that purchase without tag along’s! 🙂 There is always a comfy seat OUT of the shop! Lorna, thanks for the laugh as always 🙂

    • Reply Lorna 26th July 2017 at 9:55 am

      I’ve seen some pubs with a sign outside that says Husband Creche. 😉

  • Reply Claire Wong 25th July 2017 at 8:44 am

    I relate to so much of this, especially needing to plan what I need, otherwise I just talk myself out of buying anything (except books). Nice to know I’m not alone!

    • Reply Lorna 26th July 2017 at 10:07 am

      YES! I talk myself out of a lot, too. Not alone at all, ha.

  • Reply certifiedpastryaficionado 25th July 2017 at 11:05 am

    Yessss! I can totally relate to this! I hate going to malls but I also hate shopping online because returns are stressful. I like the idea of rewarding myself after a successful day of finally getting new clothes 🙂

  • Reply Ben Aqiba 25th July 2017 at 2:18 pm

    Great tips Lorna,

    I hate shopping, but sometimes I must to go there

  • Reply TalesOfAScottishLassie 25th July 2017 at 6:55 pm

    Haha I’m actually the same but it’s the summer sales so I’m forcing myself to buy clothes although I’m doing mine online lot less stressful.

  • Reply You Can Always Start Now 25th July 2017 at 8:21 pm

    excellent list. I laughed out loud on the good bra – could hear it in my mother’s voice!

  • Reply angelanoelauthor 25th July 2017 at 9:22 pm

    We shopping-averse should start our own club! I love your two hour rule. Slip on shoes and nothing that requires I suck in to re-assemble. Nothing is worse than peeling off my jeans, trying something on, then jumping around in the dressing room to get the dang old jeans back on! Comfy clothes all the way. And also—why did I buy the too-tight jeans in the first place? Stupid shopping.

  • Reply Emely Roman 25th July 2017 at 11:12 pm

    I hate shopping at malls but give me a credit card and a computer and that’s a different story lol.

  • Reply Bridget Fay 26th July 2017 at 1:22 am

    I struggle with this so much. I love clothes and want so bad for my exterior to reflect my personality but I always wait until everything I own is run down too much and end up doing all my shopping at one place bc i get too frustrated if im in a mall too long but then everything looks the same and usually all just black white or grey :/ Loved your post though – also book recommendation “all our wrong todays” by Elan Mastai is so good its about a guy whos from the 2016 that people thought we would have in the 50’s (think flying cars and fancy gadgets to wake you up and whatever) who travels in time and somehow ends up in a dystopian version of 2016 which is actually our reality. I’m reading it now and its SO good!!


    • Reply Lorna 26th July 2017 at 10:04 am

      I call that Mall Fatigue. Everything looks the same anyway, because designer stuff is ALL THE FECKING same, ha! I like black and gray but also purple and teal.

      And I so want to read All Our Wrong Todays…

      • Reply Bridget Fay 26th July 2017 at 4:39 pm

        No I totally agree. I’ve been trying to get more color in my wardrobe but it’s proving pretty hard 😬.

        Also you really need to read it so good!

    • Reply Alexandra Baum 28th July 2017 at 7:57 am

      That sounds like an interesting book!

  • Reply Emily 26th July 2017 at 6:19 pm

    I think the best is to not go hangry! Haha that can be the struggle with almost anything!

  • Reply Dee 26th July 2017 at 7:38 pm

    LOL this is hilarious!!! Not enough people would admit this!

  • Reply Alexandra Baum 28th July 2017 at 7:57 am

    I like to shop and I don’t like to shop. It all depends on the day haha. I make no distinction between shopping for books or clothes. It’s all good for me, as long as it’s the right day. I suppose as a sort of style blogger I shouldn’t admit that I don’t always like shopping, that there go entire weeks where I cannot be arsed, and thatI think ever faster trends are something they invented to make us consume more shit. But I do, for several of my very own reasons. It’s a conundrum…and a question.

    Anyway, I can understand why going to malls is stressfull and annoying. And don’t worry about being trendy, they nowadays rotate them regularly, so every now and then you’ll automatically be on trend 😉

  • Reply Joan E Wilder 28th July 2017 at 4:52 pm

    I hate shopping too! My sister usually takes me to lunch first so I don’t get cranky. I once walked off a long line saying “I’m outta here”. I go for shoes about once every two year so when the salesmen see me asking for several pairs in my size they must think I have a closet full of shoes 👠 ! Thanks Lorna now I know I’m in good company!

  • Reply Coffee & Current Reads – Gin & Lemonade 29th July 2017 at 4:46 pm

    […] for recent times at Gin & Lemonade, my favourite posts have been How To Shop When You Hate Shopping and My Top 17 Travel […]

  • Reply The Plagued Parent 3rd May 2018 at 4:52 pm

    I can relate! Going on a trip is my excuse to go shopping. It’s not that I don’t enjoy shopping, I just hate spending money on myself, so I have similar realizations when I look in my closet!

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