A few years before I met my husband, I wrote A LIST.
On it, I noted all of the things I was looking for in a partner, namely my forever partner.
I folded up the three pages, put them at the back of my journal. Planned to offer the list to the Moon, and see what happened.
Real talk, I ended up offering the list to my washing machine first, transferred from my journal to a sweater with pockets.
The list then resembled gloop, but I remembered what was on it.
On my first date with my husband, I swear, little things on THE LIST. That no one would know.
Neither did this first date dude. Because I wanted a second date.
These days, he knows about THE LIST. We’ve even added to it, crossed things out, laughed about it.
I believe if you write down what you want, the Universe/the Moon will work on it with you.
Even if the laundry gets it first.
There haven’t been any updates on that because we haven’t found one.
I’m frustrated by the one thing that makes an otherwise perfect house a no-go for us. Front steps, narrow bathroom door, more steps.
We tell agents what we’re looking for. They say yes, and we make trips. Useless trips. Because most agents don’t know what they’re saying yes to. Or they just want to get us in the door.
Kinda funny. Because sometimes I show up and I can’t even get through the door.
Then they speak to my husband and I answer. They learn some new phrases.
Level access. Turning circle. Other phrases.
‘Write A LIST,’ my husband says. ‘It worked before.’
It did indeed.
So here’s my list of things I’m looking for in a wheelchair accessible house. Our forever house.
No front steps. Nostalgic, but annoying.
Open plan. With the kitchen off the living room. Because walls are over-rated.
Wide doorways. Because my wheels are cambered. And I have friends who use wheelchairs who might need to get in to my house.
Main bedroom downstairs. Because I won’t sleep in the guest room of my own house. This one I’m flexible on if there’s a downstairs bedroom at all.
And how about a bungalow? Because who needs a second storey? Our current house is a bungalow. Our current house has issues.
If there is an upstairs, I’d like a stairlift. And a Jetsons style teleportation device, but that may be another post.
NO CARPETING. Because it’s like quicksand. And as for rugs, my house is not a slalom course.
An accessible kitchen with dropped counters that I can drive under, and cupboards that I can reach. A new kitchen won’t magically make me a good cook, but I miss washing dishes. Yes, Really.
A bathroom with a turning circle and transfer space. With no random platform steps.
A wet room I can drive into.
Paving around the house so I can get into the car and the garden. As it is now, I park at the top of a hill to watch my kid run around. I feel I should be wearing a visor and holding a clipboard.
No fitted wardrobes in the bedrooms so I can get around the bed and I don’t have to launch myself from the doorway.
More practical tips for a wheelchair accessible home are here in this article I found.
A spare room. For actual friends to stay. And room to write. Or a coffeeshop to go to. And write.
Built-in book shelves. Because I’m not doing with with getting rid of books over here.
I realize we won’t get a lot of these in a rental property, which is annoying. Considering a lot of rental properties are still built without basic access in mind. Which is illegal. And once you are renting, you can ask for reasonable adjustments.
But the forever home will be another one we buy, eventually, and can adapt, if needed.
Speaking of another house, I also made another list when I was younger. Yes, the DREAM HOUSE LIST.
That one was more about the people in it than logistics, but I do remember one thing:
Make it big enough we all have our own space, but small enough we don’t lose each other.
That one still stands.
I just hope it can sit comfortably, too.
What would be on your dream house list?
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