Humor Life Writing

Write Taller

10th September 2012

OK, so.  You know where I mentioned that I made a list of things to do before I turned 30, but this blog is not about that list?  I’m 31 now.  And it still isn’t.  However.

I’ve been thinking about my life.  And where it’s going.  How 31 isn’t exactly what I thought it would be when I was 21.  Or maybe even 25.  Except for the part where I have indeed met a wonderful man who is weird in all the right ways, and who I sometimes think loves me more than I deserve.  I can’t tell you how much I love him.  Because there aren’t enough words.  So, that’s the good part.

But there’s also the part where I thought I’d be a therapist by day and a writer at night.  With my own shingle hanging on the door of my house in the country.  A house that included a husband, who happened to be mine (nearly there), kids (we’ll be working on one of those on the honeymoon.  There, I said it.  Make it so) and a non-yappy medium-sized giant of a dog (my initial dream did not account for allergies.  I’m now thinking a nice tranquil fish tank.  0 to Zen in 3 seconds).    The house would smell of nice things like Yankee Candles and coffee and finger-paint.  But not apple juice, because it makes me barf.

Somewhere between my copy of The Developing Child and The Norton Anthology of English Literature would be copies of my own books.  One of which would be being optioned by Hollywood.

I would nearly drive over the dog’s tail on the way to the phone, an old-fashioned one.  My brother would be on the other end of the line, someone who looked like the best bits of my mother and my father put together and therefore like me.  He’d be calling to take me out for ice-cream, just because.  Like that old commercial.  (OK, that’s pure fantasy.  One that gets me through the day sometimes.)

After ice-cream, we’d go to Dad’s house for dinner and everyone would be waiting there.  We might have pancakes and beer, and then I’d beat everyone at Poker.

I’d sneak my Grandma a draft of my new book.  She’d take off her shoes and put them under the coffee-table before reading it.  She’d speed-read a la Johnny-5.

‘It’s good.  Keep going.  And make me taller,’ she’d say.  And then she’d wink.  With that, I would know I’d won.

Then Sarge (because he’s always been the man of my dreams) would carry our kids, upside-down by their feet, out to our stylish yet big enough mini-van.

And tomorrow, we’d go around again.

Now.  This post was going to be a list of things I want to do to get there.  Things I still haven’t done.  But words are better than bullet-points and lists.   I will get there.

If some things are beyond my reach, I’ll just write in the gaps.

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  • Reply pauladenila 10th September 2012 at 3:48 pm

    Nice one 🙂 Have you tried contacting a publisher and fellow writers? I’ve tried it here http://www.facebook.com/WispringsCo

  • Reply Hippie Cahier 10th September 2012 at 3:51 pm

    You’re on your way!

    Last week I came home from work exhausted and stressed and said too much in an email to a friend, which I concluded with, “Sorry to go on. I should really get a goldfish to talk to when I get home.”

    Then I decided I wanted pancakes for dinner, but I also wanted a Mike’s Hard Cranberry and Lemonade and even though there was no one around to know about it, not even a goldfish, I still thought pancakes and alcohol just shouldn’t be done. Now I know it’s just fine.

  • Reply urbannight 10th September 2012 at 4:29 pm

    “If some things are beyond my reach, I’ll just write in the gaps.” This has got to be one of the best lines ever. It deserves to be immortalized. Perhaps on a tee shirt.

    • Reply LKD 10th September 2012 at 5:09 pm

      Or a bag. Or in my book!

      • Reply urbannight 10th September 2012 at 5:37 pm

        In a book is always good but on a bag would be great. I never have enough bags for all my projects and activities.

        • Reply josypheen 11th May 2017 at 11:10 am

          Or on a mug, so you can sip tea/coffee/chocolate while you are writing those words. 😀

          • LKD 11th May 2017 at 11:23 am

            This post needs an update, haha!

  • Reply sharechair 11th September 2012 at 12:18 am

    What a great post! Now I’m looking forward to your book! 🙂

    • Reply LKD 11th September 2012 at 9:03 am

      None of them are finished yet. This post was written to kick my ass into gear!

  • Reply mwheelaghan 11th September 2012 at 6:40 pm

    “Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go. . . . Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way. . . . Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.” (E. L. Doctorow)
    Consider your ass kicked ;o)

    • Reply LKD 11th September 2012 at 7:13 pm

      Thank you for the Leith love!

  • Reply Kate 15th September 2012 at 10:53 am

    What an inspiring and interesting post. “make me taller”… “write in the gaps”…. love it. now I want to read your book!

  • Reply buttercream bakehouse 15th September 2012 at 11:13 am

    Hey there. Here from the SITS girls. Great writing/blog.

  • Reply c @ annuary chit 15th September 2012 at 11:54 am

    Glad you shared this one on SITS today I just turned 31 and have been trying to make lists for the past few years because I’m very lazy. I love the glimpse into your ideal day and would love to read like Johnny Five. As long as you are enjoying yourself and writing in the gaps you can copy Johnny and say, “I feel alive”!

    Sorry but I had to get that in there 🙂

  • Reply Jess WhoaMamma 15th September 2012 at 12:14 pm

    What a beautiful post! You’re a wonderful writer and I’d love to read more! I especially loved the “write in the gaps” line too. I hope you achieve everything in this beautiful scenario.
    Stopping by via SITS to spread a lil Sharefest love your way x

  • Reply Tricia 15th September 2012 at 1:26 pm

    I recently heard that when you visualize what you want, your goals will draw you to them. So sounds to me like you are well on your way.
    Visiting from SITS; happy Saturday!

  • Reply CarliAlice 15th September 2012 at 1:55 pm

    I love this post. So your 31, you will get there. I can’t wait to put one of your books on my bookshelf.

    Hapoy Saturday Sharefest!

    • Reply CarliAlice 15th September 2012 at 1:56 pm

      That’s happy for the English speaking audience. :-

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  • Reply 2012: The Year That Was | Gin & Lemonade 22nd December 2012 at 2:20 pm

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  • Reply thoughtsfromjasmine 11th May 2017 at 11:02 am

    This is so beautifully optimistic! Can’t wait to read your book someday 😉
    Jas xx

  • Reply Diana Frajman 11th May 2017 at 6:58 pm

    I like the, “make me taller” part. It kind of reminds of how, in my dreams, I always have a perfect body!

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