Isla talks non-stop. Not her fault, she’s my kid.

Sometimes, I post our conversations on Facebook.

What follows is a collection of actual conversations with my three year-old daughter.  All of these are unprompted.  She has my sarcastic genes.

Isla: Mumma, you’re cheeky. And you’re also kind of cute.
Me: Day made?

Isla on Hallowe’en…

‘Mumma, we got a pumpkin.’
‘You’re MY pumpkin.’
‘I know dat. But we got a real one from the shops.’

Isla on the rules…

Me: May I play with you?
Isla: No, because this game is for kids. But you can keep doing that thing with my hair. Because it’s nice.
Me: Oh, good.

Isla on interior design…

Me: *side-eye* What are you doing?
Isla: Drawin’ on the wall.
Me: Why?
Isla: Because I want to brighten up the place.
Me: Fair point.

Isla on ageism…

Isla: Please can I be six on my next burseday?

Isla at school pickup time…

Hello Mummy-babes!

Isla the threenager…

Isla just looked at me, ‘Mum, get out of my room,’ she says.

Isla on when I need help with some stuff…

Isla: I like when Aunties come and help us, but I like when they go home and Daddy’s still at work and it’s just us. We make a good team, Mummy.

Isla calling me out…

Me: Isla get down, please.
*5 seconds later*
Isla: Mummy, why did you say ‘get down, get funky’?

Isla angling for snacks…

Isla: Mum, if you don’t like this we can change it.
Me: Why?
Isla: Because you’re so nice.
Me: Why?
Isla: Chocolate.

and again…

Isla: Is there more crisps?
Me: Nope.
Isla: Is there crumbs?
Me: What are you, Oliver Twist?

Isla: Mummy funny. Ha. Ha.

Isla on affection…

Me: Can I just do one thing?
Isla: Squeeze my face?
Me: Yes!
Isla: Cool!

and sharing…

Isla and I were hanging out before she got dressed for school one day/every day, and she starts to stroke my face.

Me: Oh, that’s nice. How nice is that?
Isla: I’m not bein’ nice. I’m just wipin’ my crumbs on you.
Me: That, too.

And zinging…

That time when Isla and I were waiting in the hallway for Neil to get out of work.

Me: When I was in school all the cool kids hung out in the hallway.
Isla: Did you see them?
Me: Yes. Yes, I did.

and progression…

Isla: Mumma, you’re cheeky. And you’re also kind of cute.
Me: Day made?

Me: Isla, you are BEAUTIFUL.
Isla: Well, Mum, you’re BEAUTIFULLER.
*shared to show graduation from ‘kind of cute’.

and everything…

Me: I love you, Isla.
Isla: I know it, Mumma. I yove you, too.


What’s the funniest thing your kids have said lately?

She gets her sarcasm and fashion sense from me.

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