‘Are you going make a speech?’ Neil asked me, before and during the wedding.

‘I’ll do one if you forget anything in yours,’ I said.

‘I won’t. But you should say something, anyway. I don’t want a sexist weddingslashmarriage.’

‘Reason a billion and 31 why I love you.’


During his speech, my Dad told a story I mentioned in this post, and said that Lorna’s Dad is the best title he’s ever had. Well, being his daughter is pretty awesome, too.

The best man brought George Bailey-Penguin on the stage with him.

And then my husband got up and said marrying me was better than winning an Oscar. It’s funnier in context, but that was my favourite part of the whole thing. Followed by the part where he thanked Morgan Freeman for narrating his life.


Since the boys seemed to be having a good time, I got up there. Without notes, and with tears in my voice.

Here’s what I think I said. I’m happy I did, but I forgot the bold bits, until now.   If I’d actually written a speech, it would have looked something like this:

Some of you may be surprised I haven’t written anything for this. I’m better on paper, but I wanted to thank everyone for sharing today with us. It would have been cool to get married on our own, but you guys made it awesome. I want to get around to everyone, but there it is.

I’d like to thank my family and friends, and my bridesmaids for putting up with me these 14 months and longer.

And thanks to my in-laws for having my husband.

I’d like to thank Jane and Amy for taking my cat. If it wasn’t for you guys, we might not be up here, either.

On that note, I’d like to thank my father for leaving the Seminary. That went well, aye?

My Dad.  Father of the Bride.  Not Father Jack.  (photo taken by my father-in-law, also kinda neat.)

My Dad. Father of the Bride. Not Father Jack. (photo taken by my father-in-law, also kinda neat.)

Thanks for going on, years later, to raise me to know that Neil was somewhere out there and that he’d want to marry me someday.

I know I’m good enough for him, because you loved me first.

And Neil, I arrived here 19 years ago, on your birthday. Scotland has given me so much, and I am most grateful for you.

I feel like I’ve known you a hundred years, and I’m just happy we made it legal.

Can we work on the cheese phobia now?

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