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The Wedding

Humor Life The Wedding Writing

What I Really Meant To Say

22nd July 2013

‘Are you going make a speech?’ Neil asked me, before and during the wedding. ‘I’ll do one if you forget anything in yours,’ I said. ‘I won’t. But you should say something, anyway. I don’t want a sexist weddingslashmarriage.’ ‘Reason a billion and 31 why I love you.’ Anyway. During his speech, my Dad told a story I mentioned in this post, and said that Lorna’s Dad is the best title he’s ever had. Well, being his daughter is pretty…

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Humor Life The Wedding

This Bride Really Did Cut The Cake

17th July 2013

This was our wedding cake:   This was me actually cutting the cake.  With my concentration face on.  Apparently:   My thoughts went like this:  Are we actually s’posed to cut it?  Is this freaking marzipan?  I hate marzipan.  I specifically told the cake people ‘no marzipan.’  Oh, well.  The mint chocolate layer will make up for it.  And the toffee layer.  And the Baileys layer.  And even the gluten-free layer.  Is Neil actually holding the glass penguins in place…

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Humor Life The Wedding Writing

Making It So

15th July 2013

‘Where’s Neil?’ ‘There he is,’ Dad says. ‘Where?’ ‘There. The guy in the kilt, waitin’ for you.’ ‘Holy shit.’ For awhile, I couldn’t see him. And then he was all I saw. Somehow, we made it down the aisle. And Daddy’s poking me in the shoulder. ‘Flowers,’ he says. ‘What?’ ‘Give Jess your flowers.’ ‘Oh, yeah. HERE!’ At which point I might have given my Maid of Awesome a giant paper-cut. In the face. Because, y’know, my flowers were paper.…

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Humor Life The Wedding Writing

Are We There Yet?

8th July 2013

Growing up, there was a church down the street from the house where my heart lived. Grandma and I would pass the church on the way to spend my allowance on baseball cards, Cherry Coke bubble-gum and Wintergreen Tic-Tics. Most Saturdays, there was a wedding at the church and Grandma and I would try and catch a glimpse of the bride, but never stayed long enough to seem like we were staring, or wedding-crashers. ‘Think that’ll be me someday?’ ‘Of…

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