Last night was date night/Twin Peaks night. Neil and I haven’t had one of those in a long time, so Isla spent last night at Dad and Anne’s, playing with their cats and probably having too much sugar.
She left and my heart felt like Swiss cheese. She came back and I touched her face and said I love you. She gave me her plastic Skye from Paw Patrol to keep until she gets back and out she runs demanding that Campah turn some music on for the ride over the river and through the woods five minutes up the road.
I was nervy yesterday. Hours before, I’d made Isla a sandwich so big it didn’t fit in her purple lunch box, which goes with her in her teal panda bear school bag to nursery which is another place she goes without me. But she loves it, and that’s how life goes.
Anyway, she left again for a sugar rush. And I gave Skye the plastic toy an actual hug.
Neil and I watch Twin Peaks while eating shrimp stir-fry and and at various intervals I’m saying, ‘What the shit are we watching?’ Which is not entirely unlike what I said when we binge-watched it a few years ago.
‘What the shit are we watching?’
‘Twin Peaks?’
‘True.’
We watched and wondered then it was this morning.
We had coffee and thought the house was too quiet without cartoons on, but didn’t feel the need to fill the silence.
I was reading and thinking about another coffee when Dad ‘stops in’ as he does, to talk about ALL THE THINGS.
He’d dropped Isla off at nursery this morning and today’s topics over coffee were:
- Siberian kittens
- Internet connections and how they are so, um, temperamental up here.
- Isla’s birthday. Three next month. How?
Dad left several times and then came back, not unlike Isla or Columbo, for one more thing.
Now. Y’all know I love my Dad. You can read about it here.
However. On the sixth trip back after 1.5 hours, I said , ‘I love you, get out of my house.’ He leaves, but then smooches his face in the kitchen window singing the old version of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme. To which I replied, ‘I love you, FUCK OFF.’
Now. You might also remember my father doesn’t like when I swear.
He thinks it shows a lack of whatever the hell it is, I forget.
However. I’ll always remember a conversation with my Grandma, the one who’s Dad’s mother.
When I was a kid, I asked Grandma if I could swear.
‘Creatively. And only when there are no other words for it,’ she said.
And I’ve kind of thought of it that way ever since.
In related news, I hope Isla and I have the kind of relationship where when she grows up she can always come home for coffee and one more thing.
And I hope she lets me in when I visit and we talk about all the things. She can even tell me off sometimes.
Like when I smudge her kitchen window with my face. And I’ll laugh, the same as Dad did today.
Dad, one more thing. Same time tomorrow?
Peter Falk as Columbo – image via www.breitbart.com
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42 Comments
I heart this so very much. And I am hoping for a similar relationship with my kids when they venture forth into the world.
I’m guessing you’ll be all good. <3
Project for when the house is empty and you need something to do: Make a creative swearing list. Here’s one I just made up, but no doubt you can improve on it using local data.
Get Thee hence, thou simian beast!
You get the idea. As a grandmother myself, I believe this is what she might have meant…
I shall try, although I hate Shakespearean swearing. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t what mine meant.
You’re creative. You’ll think of something satisfying but harmless ?
Words themselves are harmless. It’s the meaning we put behind them that counts. I don’t swear at my child, and I try not to swear around her. But Isla and anyone else who comes along will always get the truth from me. Isla is an excellent person who is not harmed by her family in any way. My mouth does not my motherhood make.
My girls have always wanted to come home for coffee and one more thing. They stay. They bring their partner. Or current one. No judgment. No harsh words. Just love, hugs, kisses and kindness. Isla will be the exact same. You are great parents.
Australia is TOO FAR AWAY.
Well you know Kiddo, we’ve always had this kind of relationship. Without trying to appear boastful, or overly/unduly proud, we are the best of families and the best of friends. Mind, I didn’t say perfect. Just perfect for us. No one on the planet knows me as well as you do. As the saying goes, you know where all the bodies are buried. Literally. Over the generations, I think that we have learned that the secret is no secrets. Sure, we each have a few, else, the no secrets part would lack it’s punch. I just love the fact that you and I have been a team right from the off, right from that first moment that I held you in the palm of a single hand. From that first Dixie Cup Organ Grinder’s Monkey moment we’ve been a package deal. Inseparable. We are both lucky that you found a man to love and marry that doesn’t mind our bond. That Neil occasionally embraces it is a bonus. He’s become part of the team. I know that my own role has changed. I’m not the number one go to guy anymore. That’s Neil and that’s as it should be. And, that’s… Ohhh Kay. Isla Madelyn has slotted into this warm, loving, funny, quirky, open hearted, open minded collection of odd ducks as to the manor born. She’s your Lorna Karen. Always will be. Love… Dad xox
…We’ll leave the light on for yuh. xox
Having a great relationship with your parents is so important, I’m sure Isla will feel the same way!
So precious! I have this relationship with my parents and wish my own with my kids will be the same! ?
Even more poignant for me with my Pops being so I’ll…
I think about you guys a lot, you know…
Your thoughts are much appreciated ?
Haha! Loved this whole story.
Read your text convo with your Dad. Reminded me of us!
Yes! I also have a hard time getting him off the phone. He will talk to me for hours.
Record your conversations! Not just screenshots, though those are great!
This is beautiful. Like you, I hope to have this kind of relationship with my boys one day.
This is so lovely! I have a similar relationship with my mum…
That works just as well! (Yours, not mine, ha!)
Lovely post. Feel like getting closer to my two teenage girls ?
Write them letters. <3
Brilliant, so full of love and understandable apprehension too. I can’t fathom my kids becoming adults, even though my oldest is a very mature 10 year old, more like a teen than a tween! Your family dynamic sounds perfect ❤
Isla seems like she grows years overnight! We aren’t perfect, but that’s part of the fun! <3
I love your grandmothers advice about swearing. That’s kind of how I’ve always thought of it.
Grandma gave the best advice!
Unintended owie right in the feels – I know this would be me and my dad, if he were still here (lost him the first time to Alzheimer’s right after the eldest was born, and lost him the second and final time in 2001).
I’ve always told our kidlets I didn’t have a problem with them swearing, as long as it’s “around” me and not “at” me. Love your nana’s take on it as well, and I have no doubt this lovely familial relationship will continue with your own precious kidlet.
See, you got me, too. We lost that Grandma to Alzheimer’s as well. It’s a truly horrible thing. I’m sorry. <3
It really is. Thanks. *hugs*
hehehe for better or for worse, nothing beats a father’s love right?
That’s so great, I recently reconnected with my mom and those relationships are so great and important. On a side note, even now I can’t get into Twin Peaks
I hope your re-connection works for you, Heidi. All my good thoughts.
I’m a regular sweary-Poppins, so I heartedly support this!! And I also found Twin Peaks left me massively bewildered between the 90s acting and the bizarre turns. Not sure if I’m going to watch the reboot!
Love your Grandmother’s advice on swearing! I also love your writing. You can see the love your father and you have for each other in it. Keep it up! 🙂
Oh…..creative swearing! I’ll try that next time ?
This post made me go “awww,” so needless to say, I think it’s really sweet. I love the relationship you have with your dad. I also love the idea of swearing, but only creatively– ha!
Catching up on old posts–and loving your blog. Just lovely, this one!
[…] that time I asked Neil to marry me. Or the time I threw my Dad out of my house. Or that time I asked why the shit am I friends with these […]
I have this relationship with my parents where I can just pop round to my childhood home eve if it’s just for half an hour – it’s the best thing about moving back to the North East and I do not take it for granted!
LOVE THIS