Coffee Talk Humor Life

One More Thing

24th May 2017

Last night was date night/Twin Peaks night.  Neil and I haven’t had one of those in a long time, so Isla spent last night at Dad and Anne’s, playing with their cats and probably having too much sugar.

She left and my heart felt like Swiss cheese. She came back and I touched her face and said I love you.  She gave me her plastic Skye from Paw Patrol to keep until she gets back and out she runs demanding that Campah turn some music on for the ride over the river and through the woods five minutes up the road.

I was nervy yesterday.  Hours before, I’d made Isla a sandwich so big it didn’t fit in her purple lunch box, which goes with her in her teal panda bear school bag to nursery which is another place she goes without me.  But she loves it, and that’s how life goes.

Anyway, she left again for a sugar rush.  And I gave Skye the plastic toy an actual hug.

Neil and I watch Twin Peaks while eating shrimp stir-fry and and at various intervals I’m saying, ‘What the shit are we watching?’  Which is not entirely unlike what I said when we binge-watched it a few years ago.

‘What the shit are we watching?’

‘Twin Peaks?’


We watched and wondered then it was this morning.

We had coffee and thought the house was too quiet without cartoons on, but didn’t feel the need to fill the silence.

I was reading and thinking about another coffee when Dad ‘stops in’ as he does, to talk about ALL THE THINGS.

He’d dropped Isla off  at nursery this morning and today’s topics over coffee were:

  1. Siberian kittens
  2. Internet connections and how they are so, um,  temperamental up here.
  3. Isla’s birthday.  Three next month.  How?


Dad left several times and then came back, not unlike Isla or Columbo,  for one more thing.

Now.  Y’all know I love my Dad.  You can read about it here.

However.  On the sixth trip back after 1.5 hours, I said , ‘I love you, get out of my house.’ He leaves, but then smooches his face in the kitchen window singing the old version of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme. To which I replied, ‘I love you, FUCK OFF.’

Now.  You might also remember my father doesn’t like when I swear.

He thinks it shows a lack of whatever the hell it is, I forget.

However.  I’ll always remember a conversation with my Grandma, the one who’s Dad’s mother.

When I was a kid, I asked Grandma if I could swear.

‘Creatively.  And only when there are no other words for it,’ she said.

And I’ve kind of thought of it that way ever since.

In related news, I hope Isla and I have the kind of relationship where when she grows up she can always come home for coffee and one more thing.

And I hope she lets me in when I visit and we talk about all the things.  She can even tell me off sometimes.

Like when I smudge her kitchen window with my face.  And I’ll laugh, the same as Dad did today.

Dad, one more thing.  Same time tomorrow?


Peter Falk as Columbo – image via









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  • Reply Nicole 24th May 2017 at 2:11 pm

    I heart this so very much. And I am hoping for a similar relationship with my kids when they venture forth into the world.

    • Reply LKD 24th May 2017 at 3:05 pm

      I’m guessing you’ll be all good. <3

  • Reply Gabi Coatsworth 24th May 2017 at 4:15 pm

    Project for when the house is empty and you need something to do: Make a creative swearing list. Here’s one I just made up, but no doubt you can improve on it using local data.
    Get Thee hence, thou simian beast!
    You get the idea. As a grandmother myself, I believe this is what she might have meant…

    • Reply LKD 24th May 2017 at 4:29 pm

      I shall try, although I hate Shakespearean swearing. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t what mine meant.

      • Reply Gabi Coatsworth 25th May 2017 at 2:38 am

        You’re creative. You’ll think of something satisfying but harmless ?

        • Reply LKD 25th May 2017 at 9:11 am

          Words themselves are harmless. It’s the meaning we put behind them that counts. I don’t swear at my child, and I try not to swear around her. But Isla and anyone else who comes along will always get the truth from me. Isla is an excellent person who is not harmed by her family in any way. My mouth does not my motherhood make.

  • Reply maryandjohnineurope 24th May 2017 at 8:34 pm

    My girls have always wanted to come home for coffee and one more thing. They stay. They bring their partner. Or current one. No judgment. No harsh words. Just love, hugs, kisses and kindness. Isla will be the exact same. You are great parents.

    • Reply LKD 25th May 2017 at 9:19 am

      Australia is TOO FAR AWAY.

  • Reply John CR Duff 25th May 2017 at 9:28 am

    Well you know Kiddo, we’ve always had this kind of relationship. Without trying to appear boastful, or overly/unduly proud, we are the best of families and the best of friends. Mind, I didn’t say perfect. Just perfect for us. No one on the planet knows me as well as you do. As the saying goes, you know where all the bodies are buried. Literally. Over the generations, I think that we have learned that the secret is no secrets. Sure, we each have a few, else, the no secrets part would lack it’s punch. I just love the fact that you and I have been a team right from the off, right from that first moment that I held you in the palm of a single hand. From that first Dixie Cup Organ Grinder’s Monkey moment we’ve been a package deal. Inseparable. We are both lucky that you found a man to love and marry that doesn’t mind our bond. That Neil occasionally embraces it is a bonus. He’s become part of the team. I know that my own role has changed. I’m not the number one go to guy anymore. That’s Neil and that’s as it should be. And, that’s… Ohhh Kay. Isla Madelyn has slotted into this warm, loving, funny, quirky, open hearted, open minded collection of odd ducks as to the manor born. She’s your Lorna Karen. Always will be. Love… Dad xox

    • Reply LKD 25th May 2017 at 2:53 pm

      …We’ll leave the light on for yuh. xox

  • Reply Kristen 26th May 2017 at 2:06 am

    Having a great relationship with your parents is so important, I’m sure Isla will feel the same way!

  • Reply Ritu 27th May 2017 at 10:39 am

    So precious! I have this relationship with my parents and wish my own with my kids will be the same! ?

    • Reply Ritu 2nd August 2018 at 3:59 pm

      Even more poignant for me with my Pops being so I’ll…

      • Reply Lorna 2nd August 2018 at 4:01 pm

        I think about you guys a lot, you know…

        • Reply Ritu 2nd August 2018 at 4:03 pm

          Your thoughts are much appreciated ?

  • Reply A Girl and Her Passport 27th May 2017 at 10:42 am

    Haha! Loved this whole story.

    • Reply LKD 27th May 2017 at 11:03 am

      Read your text convo with your Dad. Reminded me of us!

      • Reply A Girl and Her Passport 27th May 2017 at 11:04 am

        Yes! I also have a hard time getting him off the phone. He will talk to me for hours.

        • Reply Lorna 18th June 2017 at 8:33 am

          Record your conversations! Not just screenshots, though those are great!

  • Reply amelia 27th May 2017 at 10:51 am

    This is beautiful. Like you, I hope to have this kind of relationship with my boys one day.

  • Reply suzie81speaks 27th May 2017 at 11:24 am

    This is so lovely! I have a similar relationship with my mum…

    • Reply Lorna 18th June 2017 at 8:28 am

      That works just as well! (Yours, not mine, ha!)

  • Reply Lucy Mitchell 27th May 2017 at 11:33 am

    Lovely post. Feel like getting closer to my two teenage girls ?

    • Reply Lorna 18th June 2017 at 8:34 am

      Write them letters. <3

  • Reply Em Linthorpe 27th May 2017 at 11:51 am

    Brilliant, so full of love and understandable apprehension too. I can’t fathom my kids becoming adults, even though my oldest is a very mature 10 year old, more like a teen than a tween! Your family dynamic sounds perfect ❤

    • Reply Lorna 18th June 2017 at 8:36 am

      Isla seems like she grows years overnight! We aren’t perfect, but that’s part of the fun! <3

  • Reply Phil Taylor 27th May 2017 at 12:04 pm

    I love your grandmothers advice about swearing. That’s kind of how I’ve always thought of it.

    • Reply Lorna 18th June 2017 at 8:29 am

      Grandma gave the best advice!

  • Reply Traci York 27th May 2017 at 4:40 pm

    Unintended owie right in the feels – I know this would be me and my dad, if he were still here (lost him the first time to Alzheimer’s right after the eldest was born, and lost him the second and final time in 2001).

    I’ve always told our kidlets I didn’t have a problem with them swearing, as long as it’s “around” me and not “at” me. Love your nana’s take on it as well, and I have no doubt this lovely familial relationship will continue with your own precious kidlet.

    • Reply LKD 27th May 2017 at 6:25 pm

      See, you got me, too. We lost that Grandma to Alzheimer’s as well. It’s a truly horrible thing. I’m sorry. <3

      • Reply Traci York 27th May 2017 at 6:37 pm

        It really is. Thanks. *hugs*

  • Reply Gabe Burkhardt 27th May 2017 at 5:13 pm

    hehehe for better or for worse, nothing beats a father’s love right?

  • Reply heidi 28th May 2017 at 1:21 am

    That’s so great, I recently reconnected with my mom and those relationships are so great and important. On a side note, even now I can’t get into Twin Peaks

    • Reply Lorna 18th June 2017 at 8:31 am

      I hope your re-connection works for you, Heidi. All my good thoughts.

  • Reply anhistorianabouttown 18th June 2017 at 1:23 pm

    I’m a regular sweary-Poppins, so I heartedly support this!! And I also found Twin Peaks left me massively bewildered between the 90s acting and the bizarre turns. Not sure if I’m going to watch the reboot!

  • Reply Lisa Orchard (@lisaorchard1) 18th June 2017 at 3:00 pm

    Love your Grandmother’s advice on swearing! I also love your writing. You can see the love your father and you have for each other in it. Keep it up! 🙂

  • Reply Gloria 18th June 2017 at 4:39 pm

    Oh…..creative swearing! I’ll try that next time ?

  • Reply Becca Barracuda 18th June 2017 at 10:02 pm

    This post made me go “awww,” so needless to say, I think it’s really sweet. I love the relationship you have with your dad. I also love the idea of swearing, but only creatively– ha!

  • Reply Rebecca Moon Ruark 25th October 2017 at 3:17 pm

    Catching up on old posts–and loving your blog. Just lovely, this one!

  • Reply Did I Just Say That Out Loud? – Gin & Lemonade 22nd November 2017 at 8:22 pm

    […] that time I asked Neil to marry me.  Or the time I threw my Dad out of my house.  Or that time I asked why the shit am I friends with these […]

  • Reply rachaelstray 2nd August 2018 at 3:48 pm

    I have this relationship with my parents where I can just pop round to my childhood home eve if it’s just for half an hour – it’s the best thing about moving back to the North East and I do not take it for granted!

  • Reply johnrieber 2nd August 2018 at 10:01 pm


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