Humor Life Writing

Writing In The Wild

21st June 2017

‘I don’t want to go.’

‘Yes, you do.’

‘What are you going to do for me in exchange for going out and speaking to people?’

‘I’ll fix your phone screen.’

‘Good deal.  I prefer messaging to speaking.  Actually, I hate people.’

‘No, you don’t.’

‘I don’t.  But how bout reading?  Can I stay home and read?’


‘Harsh, dude.’

But I left Neil in the kitchen with my phone, working on his end of the bargain.

I got in the car.

We drove.

‘Y’know, let’s just go on a road-trip.  C’mon.  I don’t really need to do this.  Mairi, don’t make me go in.’

‘Get out of the car.’

‘I’d probably get more writing done at the at the house.’

‘You wouldn’t, though, Mummy.’ Isla pipes up from the back.

‘Who asked you?  And seriously, HOW OLD ARE YOU?’

She just looked at me.  Like, into my soul.  That kid has been making me pull up my big girl pants since before she was born.

So I went.  To a short story workshop.  That involved other people.  And we weren’t in my house.

It was at the library.  For five minutes, it felt like being back at school.  I had a new bag, a notebook, a pen.  Because, y’know, writing.  Did I mention it wasn’t at my house?

So, introductions.  I don’t remember what I said.  Whatever it was included KID and BLOG and NOT AN ADVERT.  HI.

Then there were some hand-outs that made me realise I’m a bit rusty on the short story front.

Like, did you know that 2 or 3 characters are enough characters?  And shit has to happen to them?  And the story has, y’know, an ending?  And then you WRITE ANOTHER ONE?  I had NO IDEA.

And I’m only being halfway sarcastic.  Finishing things has always been my issue.

And again, not being funny here, but I have issues with ass-on-seat-and-finish-the-shittin’-story-thing.

I’ve missed the freedom of fiction.  Anything can happen.  And I love the point where writing becomes automatic for me, and I don’t have to think about where the next word is coming from.

Take this snippet.

The fruit was waxy on the table.  Ashtrays smoldered with lipstick edges. Steepled hands and toothpicks, things unsaid stuck in cheeks.  The room buzzed.  He smiled.  She did not.  But the look on her face said, what is she wearing?

I figured that I was writing to this photo.



Other than that, where the shit did that come from?

Photo: I’m related to all those people.  Mostly, my grandparents sitting in the front.




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  • Reply Gabi Coatsworth 21st June 2017 at 8:18 pm

    Hooray! She’s writing fiction again 🙂

    • Reply Lorna 22nd June 2017 at 11:46 am

      Thank you! Feels good to be writing anything consistently again.

  • Reply The Indecisive Eejit 21st June 2017 at 8:55 pm

    As an introvert with mild social anxiety I acknowledge that going out and people-ing is not always easy, so well done you!
    Seriously though, you need to let people experience your awesomeness 🙂

    • Reply Lorna 22nd June 2017 at 11:48 am

      I see your mild and raise you a moderate. But I’m cool with my friends, ha!

  • Reply Gabe Burkhardt 21st June 2017 at 8:56 pm

    I hear you on the hatred of peopling thing. I’ve had marginal luck with online writing workshops, but eventually, I’m gonna have to get my ass OUT of this seat and go use words with people that have experience and motivational knowledge to impart.
    Until then, I’m gonna keep plugging away at my 1000 word blog posts and quietly tinker on the “good stuff” in the dark until my inner light turns back on.

    Hope you know you’ve been motivating me vicariously. Thank you so much.

    • Reply Lorna 22nd June 2017 at 11:53 am

      Gabe, I’m glad my rambles make sense, ha! Keep reading and writing. Use a lighter until the light comes back for real.

  • Reply julie @ shorts and longs 21st June 2017 at 10:01 pm

    Way to get out there and do it! I can relate to all of it – especially the ass-on-seat problem. Love the snippet. And the pic!

    • Reply Lorna 22nd June 2017 at 1:48 pm

      PS. I’ll just be over here binging on your blog today, Julie.

  • Reply Beth 22nd June 2017 at 5:18 pm

    Hi! @thebethmn from Instagram. After your comment on my Insta I scrolled through your Insta and then had to come blog stalk you. I just read all of your June posts and I have decided you are my new favorite person/blogger. I just thought I should tell you. Way to go on the writing class. I used to love creative writing and have though of getting into it at some point (I too wrote my first story somewhere around age 7 about some sort of animal, I think it was bears.) You have encouraged me to at least look into the options for such a class around here. Anyway, now that I’m done gushing and leaving you a novel, let me say I’m so happy to have a new blog to read/mom friend to follow.

    • Reply Lorna 22nd June 2017 at 6:31 pm

      OK, so. I think you guys are us in an alternate Universe! Gushing appreciated, I like novels, and I hope you write your story. Glad I found you, too!

  • Reply zeckrombryan 9th July 2017 at 2:22 pm

    Wonderful 7 years… Loving your stories that you have on your blog, and I have read several of them, I have particular comments about this one, if you could annotate, illustrate more about the inner feelings and the environment about the both people talking, it would be great. Nevertheless, hope to see more from you. Have hope, write on!

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