How Parents Can Find The Time To Write

It’s been one of my goals this year to make my writing a priority. Well, that’s the goal every year, but this for real.

I’ve been pitching my work, and working on finishing the first draft. The first draft of what, I’m not sure. I just have to keep writing to find out.

So I wanted to say something to other parents who tho think there’s no time to write, or that we can’t write with kids around. We can.

We can write and be good parents. We can do both and we don’t have to wait til they’re grown.

They deserve to see us happy, and passionate about something that isn’t them, that’s just our own.

Going after our dreams. Because if we deserve it. And because if we go after what we want, they’ll see they can pursue what they want.

My writing sessions sometimes happen while I’m eating my way through a plate of brownies.

Last week, Isla was playing in her room, and my husband was blasting his work from home ‘music’. I put my country music on to make things really interesting.

And I swear to you, the refrigerator was running, the dishwasher swooshing, and the dryer was beeping. I actually whacked it with a broomstick to turn it off. Because I can’t reach the buttons from my wheelchair, but target practice is fun.

So, I’m trying to write around my life. My messy, loud, but still strangely quiet life.

I used to have this elaborate pre-writing routine that involved staying up all night, lots of coffee, and doing laps around my room before any actual writing happened.

I have found that there is no perfect time to write. No perfect quiet, or just enough noise. No local coffee shop with enough people to watch and make into characters.

No magic that made the words appear.

I resisted this for a long time, a really long time.

Resisted that writing is a discipline, a job. A job that I love, but work. It’s my work, and it matters just as much as my husband’s work.

If you want to be a writer, you kind of have to write. And if you think you don’t have time to write, you do. You just have to make the time to write.

And writing in spare moments of my day has lead to more words and more quality time with my kid, not less.

I’ve noticed something since I’ve started writing seriously again. I’ve missed it.

My kid thinks I’m happier when I’m writing, and she’s right.

And lately, instead of scrolling through Facebook waiting for writing inspiration, I write my words, and then I do other things.

The words are out, and so is the guilty feeling that comes from not writing anything.

But can we talk about the writing guilt?

Because I’m either feeling guilty that I’m writing when my kid is home and awake (even though alone time and our own work is important) , or stressing about when I’ll fit writing time in.

Writing makes me happier person, and a better mother. I did a scientific test to figure that out. Not really.

Now, I’m not an expert in time management. Even writing that seems extra funny to me, but I have been doing these these things for three weeks, and doing something for three weeks might make it a habit.

And at the moment I’m trying to write all the things, but still in a focused way.

This could work for any type of writing. If you’re working on a novel, or essays, or blog posts. The point is words. Your words, and lots of them.

Here’s how you can find the time to write. Even if you think you don’t have time to write.

Write in the morning. Morning pages are not a new concept. I read the book years ago, filled up some journals, and then stopped writing morning pages, because they got scary and deep and pulled at my heart. I think that was the point, the heart-pulling. I’m back at it again. It’s as close to meditation as I get.

Then I write some more and listen to podcasts or music in the three hours my kid is in school.

My office is still the kitchen table, but I’ve gotten better at telling my husband off when he makes his tea too loud. Because that’s a real thing.

The morning writing time has become kind of sacred. Please don’t mess with my chi unless you’re bringing me brownies for breakfast.

Carry a pen and notebook when you go about your day, and use it. I never have a pen when I need one but the last note on my phone was about trees and shadows.

Consider a writing challenge and actually commit to it. I’m excited about StoryADay in May.

Find a writing group, or one person, to trade words with. Take constructive criticism, but not any other kind of criticism. Write your words. And keep up with freelance writing opportunities.

Take dance breaks. Sometimes my husband comes back from dropping the kid off at school to find me doing a happy writing dance in the kitchen.

Write with your kids when they are playing or doing their own thing. Mine sits next to me while she paints, and tells me what to write.

She always tells me to ‘add kittens’, it mostly works. Sometimes she paints me a writing mascot. There’s a glittery plastic, Buddha-like cat next to me now has I write. We are much improved from my last writing mascot.

So I’m writing and she’s being creative with the TV off, and sometimes we bark out the same laugh when we’ve done good art. Together.

Write at night with the door closed. I tried to write in bed a few times, but it doesn’t work for me, so I go into our home office. The one that isn’t the kitchen.

Don’t talk yourself out of writing before you even start, I’m working on self-doubt, too. But we have to write to get through it.

And we should be writing.

I’ll write my words if you will.

And check out this post on 38 places to find writing prompts and 12 awesome gifts for writers.

What are you going to write today?