Humor Life Wedding Planning Writing

Is This Real Life?

27th September 2012

I pride myself on the fact that I’m not really a Bridezilla.  I’ve been quite laid-back about this whole wedding thing, and actually more into the whole being married thing.  Bring that on.

A few months ago, I did have a blip about envelopes, of all things.  And then I got over myself.

Other than matching paper goods, the only stipulation I’ve made is that the bridesmaids’ outfits don’t go all the way to lavender on the purple spectrum.  And then there’s the hat thing.  But that was a joint decision.

OK so, other than matching paper goods, no lavender and no hats, I just want to party.

When I chose my dress, I wondered if my two ‘requirements’ meant that I was too picky.  I was later deemed to be one of the easiest brides the shop has ever dealt with.  We shall see if that lasts through my fittings.

My point is this.  I’m cool.  I’m calm.  Everything is (really) fine.  On the outside.

I used to be really into dream interpretation.  Obsessed with ‘symbols’ and ‘themes’.    Did dreaming about a bakery mean I wanted my own business?  Well, I kinda do.  But it also meant I was hungry and needed a doughnut.

I’ve been thinking more about what dreams mean.  Because on Monday, I had my first wedding disaster dream.

My bridal crew is already down the aisle and I can’t find my shoes.  I’m searching in my old room, and find my favourite purple boots, which I put on.  (That part might not be far from the truth.)  On the way to the door, which is locked, the chair splits in half.  And I end up having to knee-walk down the aisle, with my Dad carrying the wheels behind me.  Did I mention the back of my dress is tucked into my underwear?  Yep.

And the processional music has been switched to Ecuador by Sash!:

I don’t know why.  But after seeing the video, maybe it’s because we toyed with the idea of having the best man’s hawk fly the rings in.  That won’t be happening, either.  (Even though I’ve heard that it’s good luck if a bird shits on you.  Don’t ask me how I know).

Anyway, and then I woke up.

I’m cool.  I’m calm.  It’s funny now.

However.  If on the day, the actual processional music is somehow mixed up with Eurodance from the 90’s, I will go all Bridezilla.

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  • Reply Belinda Kennedy-Scott 27th September 2012 at 1:54 pm

    You realise Lorna, don’t you, that this is really too early for you to be ‘bridezilla’? The closer you get to the wedding, the more important the ‘little’ things will get to you… Then it will go one of only two ways: you will accept that there are so many glitches and hitches, you don’t give a damn anyway and have a very large ‘gin & lemonade’; or, you really will become the queen of all bridezillas!

    Having said that I believe that there is a new ‘zilla’ on the up – that of ‘bride’s-mumzilla’ and there may even be a ‘bride’s-dadzilla’ because either of those new ‘zillas’ can take the heat away from the bridezilla and make everyone else jump through hoops of fire to make the day run properly. E.g. like when the ‘petit dejeuner a deux’ for the bride and mum on the wedding morning did not appear… and then didn’t appear again… and the bride’s-mumzilla went to the kitchen and read the riot act… and then when the breakfast did come, some 60 minutes late, and the tray was incomplete… then believe you me, both kitchen staff and breakfast guests were quite taken aback at a monster in her pyjamas in a fury!

    Yes, I confess, I was that bride’s-mumzilla…

    • Reply LKD 27th September 2012 at 5:43 pm

      It’s never too early to think too much.

      And I can picture your scene. Glad it all worked out in the end!

  • Reply Marianne Wheelaghan (@MWheelaghan) 27th September 2012 at 1:56 pm

    ha ha ha 🙂 i think Bridezilla nerves are all part of the process, so when The Day actually comes it will be FABULOUS! 🙂
    And, yep, I’m with you on the purple thing for the bridesmaid’s dresses but I am with your mum on the no hats thing, boo hoo! There are so few occasions for middle-aged women to wear fascinator-cum-fluffy cake things our heads ;o)

  • Reply DB York 27th September 2012 at 2:50 pm

    nevermind Bridezilla, if it ever happens for me again, I’m going Bride-thulhu! Because really, why go for the lesser of 2 evils? 😉

    OK, so I’m on the hunt for a purple-not-lavender dress? I can do that. I can rock purple. And as for the hat thing…does a tiny adorable tophat perched slightly askew atop my head count as breaking the no hat rule if I have purple feathers on it? 😀

    • Reply LKD 27th September 2012 at 3:34 pm

      How bout if we perch a little hat on your bouquet? 🙂 (Check your FB mail!)

      xox

  • Reply urbannight 27th September 2012 at 3:00 pm

    Maybe a small part of your subconscious is worried that it has been a little too easy and it will all catch up at once. I would say, relax, have fun, enjoy the process, what will be will be and it will be lovely and the rest is all just penguin poop anyway.

  • Reply Hippie Cahier 27th September 2012 at 3:40 pm

    I’m with you on the dream interpretation. Your bakery dream, for example, made me wonder if you might have been longing to create something, or perhaps to provide loving comfort for others.

    I watched the video thinking about hawks. Someone once told me that seeing one was a sign that a message was coming. With the advent of technology, that’s somewhat obsolete — when is a message not coming?

    The bird looks like a bald eagle, a symbol of freedom, at least to my American subconscious. Your dream includes manifestations of anxieties, including obstacles impeding movement toward the “goal”. The eagle is soaring gracefully – no obstacles to its movement.

    There I was knee deep in all that analysis when I noticed the women and their “hats,” especially the one at 3;07. She’s wearing lavendar and some funky hair accoutrement. She is your nightmare bridesmaid!

    Or maybe you just want a doughnut. . .or you want to go to Ecuador for a honeymoon.

  • Reply Bella 27th September 2012 at 7:29 pm

    Lorna, I don’t think you’re any way near close reaching the Bridezilla status. As a matter of fact, I think you’re being the perfect bride! Only three little things? That’s nothing, girlfriend. That fiancee of yours is a lucky man! ha! I’m certain that everything is going to be just perfect on your wedding day. Just remember to breathe! 🙂

  • Reply sharechair 27th September 2012 at 8:55 pm

    You go ahead and be Bridezilla if you want. It’s your wedding! Anything that makes you happy. 🙂

  • Reply Madame Weebles 28th September 2012 at 1:45 am

    I salute you! I was also not Bridezilla. I just really didn’t care about all those little things. Personally, I wanted to elope and go to Vegas. Mr. Weebles was the one who wanted the fancy wedding. The bottom line is, your day will be awesome, no matter what.

  • Reply Kristin Alexander (@SaidKristin) 29th September 2012 at 2:44 pm

    I’ve been married for six years and I still remember my wedding diaster dreams – in which I usually looked generally unkempt. My hair was always really limp and raggedy and my dress was always short and usually tattered. Basically your classic stress dream.

    It was my dad who had the funniest wedding disaster dream, though. He dreamed that my wedding had suddenly gone from a small affair of around 100 people in a small chapel to over 1,000 in a giant cathedral, where he and my mom were relegated to sit on the back pew. And when the minister asked, “Who gives this woman to be married,” he stood up and waved his arms and shouted, “ME! I DO!” I still laugh when I think about it.

    Stopping by from SITS. Congrats!

  • Reply rina 29th September 2012 at 5:16 pm

    I dreamed I had to have a perm for the wedding. The hairdresser set this metal cap on my head (it looked like an inverted metal colander), and put all these electrodes on the cap. I said “isn’t this going to hurt?” And she said yes, and acted like I shouldn’t be surprised. After 23 years of marriage, I get it. Stopping by from SITS.

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