Dearest Pepto, Thank you. You’re lovely. We first met when I barfed at the very top of a moving Ferris wheel. I lost a friend and corn-dog that night. But you were there, in all your pink splendour. I don’t like pink as a colour, but I can certainly drink it. Fast-forward to yesterday. All those emails. Hopefully we’ve seen the last of them. Not counting the actual replies to said emails. Which would be really useful. I can read…
Just when you think you’ve gotten through your to-do list, there’s another list. And damn if there isn’t more to do on it. People say that marriage is a marathon and not a sprint. I believe that. I’ve also started to think of wedding-panning as a test of endurance. To get you ready for the marathon. Last week, I failed that test. But I got a lot of reading done. In bed. While drinking coffee and pretending I was 12.…
Picture it: Levittown, 1980-every-summer. A young girl is watching the sun sink lower in the sky and waiting for someone to take her to the carnival down the block. Her grandparents and her father have probably drawn straws. Who gets to hold her hair back this time? Because she’s gonna barf. But she’s too excited to eat. So it’s the dry heaves. And full on gagging, how attractive. And she’s barking. That’s a nervous cough. But she could be doing…
And so, I’ve kinda spent all day looking for wedding shoes. It’s no secret that my original ‘bridal vision’ involved Doc Martens. I got one of those visions after I figured out what exactly a bridal vision was, and I’m still not really sure. Anyway, wedding Docs. Problem is, I don’t really like white. Or flowers. But I saw myself in wedding boots for a few reasons. I need the support, and I can’t wear something that I step out…
A dear friend just sent me this list of The 50 Most Romantic Things That Ever Happened. Because, y’know, stuff like that makes me melt, these days. Anyway, Sarge walked in as I was scrolling through. ‘I’m going to leave the room while you look at these,’ I said. When I returned, Sarge said, ‘I’d build you a ramp for those 6,000 stairs. And then I’d push you up the ramp. Just so people would know we’re together, you understand.’…
