Humor Life Writing

And A Goldfish

12th August 2013

As of Saturday, I’ve been blogging here for three years.  I wasn’t online much over the weekend, I was kind of busy eating baked goods in an art gallery and then laughing because I know during this show.

I planned to write when we got home, but I found myself watching Breaking Bad instead.

I got up at 5 am on Sunday, and was depressed for the rest of the day.  I needed ice-cream and a stupid movie so I twisted Neil’s arm for Red 2 and Ben & Jerry’s.

And then, at the pub, Neil dumped a beer on me. By accident.  I called him a sonofabitch.  Maybe not by accident, but with all the love in the world.  Because it was refreshing.

I planned to write when we got home, but found myself reading crime fiction set in Iceland instead.

I figure now is a good time to talk about avoidance.  Or something.  See, I have issues.  Or at least one.  The others I’ve been to therapy for.  And then I graduated.  From therapy.  One issue left.  Maybe.

See all those plans to write?  All those incomplete sentences  in half finished, but nonetheless colour-coded notebooks?  See that new-found fondness for Subway Surfers?  Yeah.  Best laid plans of writers and Lorn.

The issue of the issue, or the thing I tell myself to make it OK, or not, is that if it sounds like writing, I stop doing it.  If my characters stop talking to me, I don’t put words in their mouths.  If the story stops playing out like a movie in my head, I change the channel.

The next idea is going to be THE ONE book I finish. The next app I find is going to be THE ONE that leads me to THE END.  And then another one.

And then I get the bright spark that if I smush plot 5 with character 68 and story arc 20-never, I’ll get something new.  And I just shuffle stuff about and don’t actually write anything new.  Except that thing about thunderstorms.

Yesterday, while sitting in Starbucks with a coffee and without a notebook, Neil asks me to tell him a story.

‘Oh, y’know.  Mother issues.  Sibling issues.  And a goldfish.  Discuss.  Maybe.’

You’d think it would be be easy for me to sit on my ass and write.  But I need to do laps around my house.  And organise my sock drawer.

Maybe I should write about socks.  Is there an app for that?

Do you believe in writer’s block?  What do you do about it?  Next time, add a goldfish and see what happens!

Bubble Eye Goldfish

Bubble Eye Goldfish (Photo credit: Wikipedia)






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  • Reply Hippie Cahier 12th August 2013 at 12:52 pm

    How fortuitous: the traditional gift for a third blog-iversary is a goldfish! Happy #3.

    • Reply LKD 12th August 2013 at 1:00 pm

      Thanks, Hippie! I was just thinking yesterday, it’s hard to believe the Oma visited all the way last year ago.

  • Reply broadsideblog 12th August 2013 at 1:26 pm

    Once you decide what you really want to say, you won’t be able to stop writing. Been there…

    • Reply LKD 12th August 2013 at 1:27 pm

      Maybe, but I think another issue is I might have too much to say.

  • Reply Blogdramedy 12th August 2013 at 1:36 pm

    Maybe it’s not writer’s block. Maybe it’s fear of judgement. Maybe you should let us decide. Maybe you’d be surprised.

    • Reply LKD 12th August 2013 at 1:53 pm

      I got over that one, too. Saying that, any pointers for lack of focus, beyond turning off the internet? 🙂

      • Reply Blogdramedy 12th August 2013 at 1:57 pm

        A glass of wine and a foot massage helps me. If that’s not on the menu, a double espresso and a locked door works, too. Or you can check out my review today of this amazing blogging tips guide I found hidden on my desk.

        • Reply LKD 12th August 2013 at 2:03 pm

          Wine gives me heartburn. The other stuff is useful!

  • Reply becomingcliche 12th August 2013 at 2:29 pm

    Yeah, been there. I’ll have to try the goldfish.

    • Reply LKD 12th August 2013 at 2:43 pm

      I’d also suggest a penguin.

  • Reply Bella 12th August 2013 at 7:03 pm

    Lorna, as always, your post leaves me in giggles. Would you believe the way I deal with writer’s block is by not writing? ha! Yep. If I can’t find inspiration, I do nothing. Other times, when I realize it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted, I go on a walk, or I people watch. I find human dynamics to be excellent blog fodder! Although now that you mention the goldfish, I might try that the next time! hee hee! 🙂

    • Reply LKD 13th August 2013 at 7:27 pm

      Bella, I’ve missed you. Must catch up!

  • Reply Jackie Cangro 13th August 2013 at 1:56 am

    Happy Blogiversary!
    Have you read Anne Lamott’s essay about shitty first drafts? If not, I can send it to you. Plenty of writers tell me that the fear of writing a really terrible first draft is what keeps them from writing at all.
    Of course my issue is procrastination, like right now!

    • Reply LKD 13th August 2013 at 7:26 pm

      No, but I feel I should, so yes, please! I can send you an email, and I also like real mail that isn’t bills!

  • Reply Catrece Ann Tipon 13th August 2013 at 6:09 am

    I find this to be a very interesting take on writer’s block! I still have yet to figure out how to fix my own writer’s block, usually I go outside, and relax in a spot where there isn’t a lot of people around and just ponder life. I try and relate what’s going on in my own life in relation to the story I try to make. That usually helps me to speed things up. 🙂 Can’t wait to hear more!

  • Reply jisun 14th August 2013 at 7:09 pm

    Yes! For me, I have too much to say. It is more like writer’s cluster f*ck. I have to stop writing too, go do other things I love, then come back. I’m going to try adding goldfish, I’ll report back with my results. 😉

  • Reply thoughtsappear 20th August 2013 at 7:21 pm

    You left out the most important detail. What flavor of Ben and Jerry’s?

    • Reply LKD 2nd September 2013 at 5:41 pm

      The reece’s one and the mint chocolate one. My favourite ones, which I can only find at the movies, so far. That works for me, too!

  • Reply weliveinaflat 26th August 2013 at 4:12 am

    Happy 3rd anniversary 🙂 Sounds like a busy life 😛

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