The closest I get to any kind of interior design is watching re-runs of Designing Women.  Because I am an old, nostalgic, sarcastic soul.  What I am not, is a very visual person.

I’ve moved house A LOT in my life, and my stock answer to ‘Where do you want this?’ is ‘Gimme all the books.’

When my friends and family move or redecorate I sit in the corner reading the old newspapers Aunt Dolly’s dinner set is wrapped in, getting high on paint fumes.

My own rooms do not have themes.  There’s books.  And piles.  And piles of books.

I fit other stuff around the books.

I can’t visualise how things will look until someone else arranges it and I then ask them to move shit around get it out of my house.

However.  I recently tried to carve out a new writing nook.  I looked at home tours and room makeovers and Property Brothers.

And I found Design Home.

I’ve been playing it for a few weeks now, and here’s what I’ve learned/re-affirmed about myself and life in that time.

1.  I hate beige.  Unless we’re in Provo.

2.  I really like blues.  I really, really like any kind of blue.

3.  I should live on the beach, in a coastal living-room with rustic accents.  And a purple couch.

4.  I should live in Brooklyn.  With a leather couch and a purple rug.

5.
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6.  I’m very competitive.   That got a 5?  Why do all the beige rooms and people get 5s?  My eclectic style orange couch with purple rug and crazy accent chair would like a 5.  And what accent does the chair have?  Cuz if it’s French or something maybe it doesn’t need your 5, anyway.

7.  I like floor lamps that look like trees.

8.  I’m very critical of hotel rooms now.  Unless they would get a 5.  That chair doesn’t go with the bed.  Why do I care?  READ A BOOK.  What fresh hell style is this?

9.  It’s not a mistake.  It’s a ‘design choice.’

10.  I’ll stick to writing and leave the decorating to Isla.  She’s so much better at it than me, obviously.  Take this recent-ish conversation:

Me: *side-eye* What are you doing?
Isla: Drawin’ on the wall.
Me: Why?
Isla: Because I want to brighten up the place.
Me: Fair point.

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5 stars!

 

 

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