How To Get Through The Weird First Week In A New Home

And so, somehow we’ve made it to a full week in the new place. That time where you’re fumbling around, not sure where you are or what day it is.

Like the holidays. But with even more junk food, because what’s a vegetable, and how does the oven work?

It’s been interesting. And the interestingness started even before we got here. With our loaded up car, and wired kid.

We opened the new door, plowed over the threshold. To a new beginning. And the burglar alarm going off. Yes, the neighbors love us already.

The key code didn’t work. Called the security company. Yes, we just moved in, hi. Check your email. Without the internet. Because we just moved in. Hang out next to the window. 5G on the phone? That works. Welcome to the city.

Read email and the same code we’ve been putting in. Burglar alarm going off for half an hour now. Welcome to the city?

Isla at least getting acquainted with her new room, with the door shut.

The security company switched us off. And we sat around eating pretzels and pizza in our suddenly quiet flat, because we could.

We fall asleep in our new beds, with new noise around.

‘What’s that?’

‘The pipes. You’ll get used to it.’

‘Shut up. There are actual snakes in the walls.’

‘Go to sleep.’

‘How can I sleep? THERE ARE SNAKES IN THE WALLS.’ That was me, not the five-year-old, in case you were wondering.

And you know how when you move in somewhere new, and you don’t have a phone line? And they send someone out to plug you in? And they give you a five-hour window of time? And you imagine yourself floating without anchor from 8 to 1?

And then the buzzer goes off at 8.02? And first of all, what the hell is that noise? Because the house you actually own doesn’t have a buzzer. Have we gone back in time? What is this place?

And no, we don’t know where the phone ports are. Because we just moved in, hi.

You get the green light on the internet router, and you just might live here after all. Your geek husband gets major excitement over your new download speed.

Just my husband? No, not just mine.

And you have THE WHOLE DAY. Because someone came ON TIME.

And then you call the letting agent, who really did give you the wrong code for the alarm.

Then you go out for breakfast. Because you only have pickles in the fridge. You just moved in.

You take your tired, discombobulated kid to the mall. Say yes to ONE TOY. Because why not? You just moved in. And what day is it?

And then. You see something that they don’t have in the country. A CLAIRE’S. And they see your starry-eyed child coming a mile away. This nail polish PEELS OFF. Ain’t that a trick?

And no, my kid doesn’t need 27 things for the price of 9. She’s already a loyal customer, as you can see by the kitten ears. We’re leaving the shop now.

We bump into some coffee. Because I need one. And it’s Valentine’s Day, and that’s about as romantic as we get.

Then we head back. Or home, I guess. The kid watches the same show four times. Some things don’t change.

Husband heads out to a mega supermarket and our medium storage space. Brings back some furniture. More like home, less like an Air Bnb. Maybe.

Register the kid for school. Many, many forms. I hate forms. My hands hate forms.

My kid tells the head teacher that her favourite subject is Maths. I cannot take credit for that. Then Isla says her favourite animal is a cat, and begins licking herself. Maybe who cares? We just moved in, hi.

Isla heads off to school the next day in a different uniform. Trippy. It’s five minutes away, but we get in the car, because we walked before got rained on.

We head to the school gates, and some kid says ‘Why is that lady in a buggy?’

A wheelchair is not a buggy. But cancel, clear. It’s Isla’s day.

We tour the school, and it makes me want to go back.

A new friend takes my daughter by the hand and says, ‘you can sit with me, Isla.’

Tears kinda spring forth from my face, but she looks back and waves, and it’s all good.

Then more coffee. And BOOKS. Because all of mine are in storage. We just moved in, hi.

And speaking of storage, I just found this post on how to maximize storage in your home. Make room for more books.

The husband says sitting and reading with a cup of coffee is the most content he’s seen me in a while. I suppose Neil would know, and it’s nice to be known. But I don’t feel it yet.

Back at the school gates.

‘How was school?’

‘Good!’

‘Make new friends?’

‘Lots!’

And this morning was the replay.

‘Mum, why did you kiss my eye?’

Because it was the only bit I could reach before she skipped away.

And so, how do you survive the first week in a new place? I’m not sure, it just happens.

Fill in the forms, make the phone calls (and please hold), find a supermarket. Eat a vegetable. Meet your kids where they are, let them wear kitten ears.

Every day feels more like home. And get the right code for the burglar alarm.

When do you feel at home somewhere?

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