Just when you think you’ve gotten through your to-do list, there’s another list. And damn if there isn’t more to do on it. People say that marriage is a marathon and not a sprint. I believe that. I’ve also started to think of wedding-panning as a test of endurance. To get you ready for the marathon. Last week, I failed that test. But I got a lot of reading done. In bed. While drinking coffee and pretending I was 12.…
Picture it: Levittown, 1980-every-summer. A young girl is watching the sun sink lower in the sky and waiting for someone to take her to the carnival down the block. Her grandparents and her father have probably drawn straws. Who gets to hold her hair back this time? Because she’s gonna barf. But she’s too excited to eat. So it’s the dry heaves. And full on gagging, how attractive. And she’s barking. That’s a nervous cough. But she could be doing…
Let’s say there’s a power-cut. In the middle of the day. This day is particularly overcast and spooky, with little or no natural light. You know, like April. You are either home from work or you don’t have a job outside of that home. The point is, apparently, you don’t have any juice inside it, either. Here’s what you might do: 1. Consider, for a moment, that you’ve finally done it. With the computer on, the music on and for…
And so, I’ve kinda spent all day looking for wedding shoes. It’s no secret that my original ‘bridal vision’ involved Doc Martens. I got one of those visions after I figured out what exactly a bridal vision was, and I’m still not really sure. Anyway, wedding Docs. Problem is, I don’t really like white. Or flowers. But I saw myself in wedding boots for a few reasons. I need the support, and I can’t wear something that I step out…
I was breaking out in hives. Shaking. Clawing at my skin. ‘What the hell is this?’ I said to Sarge. ‘Red splotches. On my neck. Should I do this? I think I’m gonna be sick. Hold my hand.’ And then I grabbed his hand. Maybe broke his fingers. A little. No, I was not peeing on a stick. I was not choosing table linens for the wedding dinner (which is actually the wedding breakfast, but never mind). None of those…
