Gaviscon and Goth Nails

23rd November 2010
Ball as Lucy, Vivian Vance as Ethel on the &qu...

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Stress gives me heartburn.  Gulp-Gaviscon-and-belch heartburn.  I have decided I shouldn’t eat crisps and dip for dinner or look for a job after 8.00pm.

I got another rejection yesterday.  I then asked my PA to polish my nails purple to cheer myself up.  It didn’t work.  Sarge came home for lunch and made me life-sucking -zombie coffee.  That worked.  I still cried, though.  And got unspeakably angry at grammatical errors on national websites.   I flapped around a bit saying, ‘People get PAID to make mistakes.  Who knew?’ Sarge went back to work, giving me a kiss and another coffee.

I also got a surprise but very welcome visit from a Glasgow friend.  We went for cake and milkshakes and gossip and the sun had set outside the window by the time we were done.  Before we went back to my flat we decided to buy the offending crisps and dip and call it dinner.  I may have had some wasabi beans for dessert.  Just maybe.

After snack-as-dinner time, my friend left and my boyfriend arrived home.  We are working on IMDb’s Top 250.  Sunday was Chinese food and City of God.  Sarge suggested we open some beers and watch Raging Bull.  I should have listened.  Instead of a nice relaxing evening of alcohol and film-violence (which I admit I needed), I went into the office and continued the hunt for the elusive job.

Several curses and one Gumtree ad later, I went into the kitchen and let out a Lucy Ricardo-sized wail.  ‘I want a job!’ And I actually asked this, ‘is that too much to ask?!’  I really did have my head in my hands on the kitchen table.  And Sarge was rubbing real tension out of my shoulders.

I lifted my head and looked at my nails.  What that morning looked half-heartedly cheerful looked plain garish in the light of evening.

‘I’m useless,’ I said.  ‘I can’t get a job, and I look like a tart.’

‘Don’t be silly,’ he said.  ‘You look like a Goth.’

I laughed and went to bed with Paul Auster’s Invisible and our rather large bottle of Gaviscon.

I may take a break from the job-hunt today.  If only to keep the tears and heartburn away.   After all, I still have to watch Raging Bull.


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  • Reply Marjory 23rd November 2010 at 3:09 pm

    Or you could look at yourself as a Gothish tart, which would be awsome! Do cheer up – it will happen. You are too talented not to have a place for you out there in the work force.

    • Reply LKD 23rd November 2010 at 3:26 pm

      That would indeed be awesome! Thank you, Marjory!

  • Reply ohemgillie 23rd November 2010 at 4:38 pm

    Looks like we can be angsty and jobless with wild nail polish together.

    • Reply LKD 24th November 2010 at 12:37 pm

      Sounds good! Maybe we’ll get jobs at the same time?

  • Reply RuthG 23rd November 2010 at 5:41 pm

    May your job-seeking diligence pay off soon, hon! It’s hard & it takes courage–& you’re wise to give yourself breaks now & then.

    In the meantime, may your purple fingernails make you smile!

    • Reply LKD 24th November 2010 at 12:39 pm

      The purple is gone, Ruth! I’ve moved on! Today is a new day.

  • Reply Nicole 24th November 2010 at 1:27 pm

    Job hunting is horribly stressful… Here’s to hoping that today is the day!

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