An Open Letter to the Vet

7th December 2011

What follows is the text of the letter going along with CJ to her vet’s visit today:


This is CJ.  She’s 9.  She’s being re-homed up North, due to my boyfriend’s allergies.  We used to live on a farm, but she’s been a flat-cat since 2005, when we moved to Glasgow.

She is third-generation feral, and she was fixed when she was a year old.  I believe she had shots at that time.

She needed a booster when we lived in Glasgow and I wanted to get her chipped, but the vet could do neither at the time, due to an infected scratch on CJ’s neck.

What she needs now is a booster and a chip, and some kitty anti-depressants (milk pills?) for her upcoming journey, and also a vapouriser-plug-in-magic-thing for her new home.  Everyone will thank you for it.

I am sending her to you, accompanied by my boyfriend, because I am a big chicken.  I hate to see her stressed.

My boyfriend may be stressed too, because he thinks this whole thing is his fault.  It isn’t.

Please be nice to them both.

And my boyfriend doesn’t need a chip.



CJ’s Human/The Cat’s Mother

P.S.  The background to this story, complete with more existential reasoning, can be found here.

CJ is disgruntled.

Join the Gin & Lemonade newsletter!

Subscribe to get a roundup of posts, a writing prompt, and other groovy stuff every week!

Unsubscribe at any time. Powered by ConvertKit

You Might Also Like

No Comments

  • Reply Eileen Riley 7th December 2011 at 5:42 pm

    Scrumpy was my first-born. A black and white border collie that my husband bought me for my birthday. You know, the kind of dog normally seen herding sheep. An energetic, working dog. I have no idea what he was thinking since we lived in a flat and were both out all day. We tried to give her as much exercise as we could, but it was always less than she wanted or needed. When our daughter came along, Scrumpy didn’t like sharing our affections and as she got bigger, Scrumpy got grumpier. After a year, there was nothing for it and Scrumpy had to go, to a farm in Wales. Where she should have been all along. And, where she happily spent the rest of her days running in fields and herding sheep. So, I understand how hard it is to wave goodbye. But, CJ will thank you for it.

    • Reply LKD 7th December 2011 at 6:56 pm

      I had a border collie when I was a kid, beautiful and smart, the are!
      Thank you for sharing your story, Eileen. It makes me feel better.

      On another note, did your repairperson arrive on Monday?

  • Reply Axel 7th December 2011 at 5:59 pm

    CJ? Named after the youngest Ramone brother?

  • Reply emilydev9 7th December 2011 at 6:50 pm

    You know, a chip for a boyfriend could be useful, at least if it came with a remote control…

    • Reply LKD 7th December 2011 at 6:59 pm

      I think you’re on to something. Shall we have lunch next month to discuss?

  • Reply calypte 7th December 2011 at 7:04 pm

    Oh, sad – bu-bye CJ, and here’s to happier hours in the country. Sigh. I do miss having pets. I guess I’d settle for a boyfriend! 😉

    (PS did you ever find the pumpkin?)

    • Reply LKD 7th December 2011 at 7:57 pm

      Neil says he’ll get me some for Christmas. Which means he hasn’t looked yet. 😉

  • Reply becomingcliche 7th December 2011 at 8:28 pm

    I’m so sorry you have to rehome her.

  • Reply Spangle (@KarenD2009) 8th December 2011 at 2:42 pm

    Aww this is a sad post. Although it’s good that your cat will have a new home to go to.

  • Reply lostnchina 9th December 2011 at 3:19 am

    This is quite the sad, heart-wrenching post and reminds me of the time I had to re-home my dog, Bailey, who thought he was a cat – when I had to move overseas. I feel for you… and before Christmas too!

    …but your priorities are straight! I mean, keep the boyfriend and re-home the cat 🙂

  • Reply laurastanfill 9th December 2011 at 3:48 pm

    Right before I got married, I went to get my allergies tested, and the doctor confirmed it’d be “dangerous” to live with a cat. I had to go home and tell my husband-to-be the sad news, but it all worked out. He found a friend to take her and give her a good home. Now, alas, our 4-year-old would do anything to have a cat. Or a dog. But I’m allergic to everything. We may have to settle for a fish. Or a pet rock.

  • Reply Cheesecake For Breakfast « Gin & Lemonade 31st May 2012 at 1:16 pm

    […] an update to this post, and then this one, and finally this one, CJ has gone to live with some friends in Glasgow.  She is not hunting rabbits in the country.  […]

  • Leave a Reply


    Follow Gin & Lemonade

    %d bloggers like this: