Accessibility Humor Travel

When Your Child Has No Inside Voice

25th March 2018

Picture it:  A crowded restaurant.  A table full of friends.  All other tables full of strangers.  And a three-year-old with absolutely no inside voice.

I was having dinner with friends I haven’t seen since my wedding (nearly five years ago, how did that happen?)

There was music and memories.  Hot chocolate with impressive whipped cream, and lots of coffee and more than a few laughs.

There was also a locked accessible toilet.  Some people would call that an inaccessible toilet.  But to me, a locked toilet is a clean one that’s free when I need it.

On Thursday, after all those beverages and laughs and not a lot of bladder control, I needed the accessible toilet.

I backed away from the table, and Isla lead the way.  Toilet trips are family trips.  We arrived at the locked door, and I turned around to go ask for the key.

Before Neil and I could reach anyone, Isla ran over to our waitress.

‘Scuze me, do you have the key for my Mummy’s toilet?’

Our lovely waitress was serving another table.

‘Hurry up, my Mummy needs to pee and poop!’

Well.  That about covered everything.

New meaning to where everybody knows your business, yes?

So, we’re there and I’m kinda red, and someone comes and hands us the keys from a really rather close by hiding spot.

‘Thanks very much.’

The evening continued.

There was a tea party with hotel spoons and cookies in tiny packages.  Isla was up past her bedtime, but it was time with Auntie Enemy and Uncle Alice, who we visited years ago in Cambridge, but who Isla had yet to met.

It turns out that all those wordy conversations with Isla that I post on FB are all true. And better in person.

Emily and I met through our posts on a now-defunct but sadly missed goal-setting website and generally groovy global community, 43Things.

43T is where I pledged to go on a road-trip with no pre-determined destination, where I planned and wrote about my cross-country Amtrak trip, where I met online friends who became 3D friends.

43T is also the reason why some of my best friends are people I haven’t actually met yet.



Emily captured Isla scrolling through my Facebook.

For instance, on Friday morning,  over waffles and yet more beverages, Emily and I wrote a postcard to a friend in Amsterdam. 

Two Americans on opposite ends of the UK, meet in the middle and write to more far-flung friends.

I think I actually got all the feels.

We said goodbye, promising next time in whatever part of the world we find ourselves in.

And until then, there’s always online.

Who’s your best online friend?








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  • Reply johnrieber 25th March 2018 at 3:35 pm

    The world of social media is indeed fascinating for the very reason you mention – I have made online friends with people from South Africa, India, England, and probably many other places as well, as many people don’t highlight where they are from…and of course transplants like yourself who can speak of multiple homes as well…

    • Reply Lorna 26th March 2018 at 8:27 am

      I’ve been wondering if social media is still social, and then stuff like last week happens, and it just makes the world a smaller, more beautiful place.

  • Reply thatblogwherecheriemovestogermany 25th March 2018 at 4:51 pm

    Oh how I adore the stories of your little one. It seems that not only does she not have an inside voice, she also does not see any one as a stranger, just people she hasnt met yet. So sweet.
    My online friends, not sure what I would do without them. Probably just sit in the apartment talking to the cat and the plants, well, I already do that. But, I also spend a fair amount of time chatting with all my new blogger friends 😉

  • Reply becomingcliche 25th March 2018 at 5:47 pm

    I am proud of Isla for speaking up. There’s no reason to keep the toilet locked, and she let them know they had inconvenienced you.

    Also, I have had 3 kids, and I know their “adorable,” top-volume honesty ALL TOO WELL! Youngest had speech issues and sounded like he was swearing most of the time.

    • Reply Lorna 25th March 2018 at 5:49 pm

      No, I appreciate when they are locked. Means they’re clean and used appropriately.

      • Reply becomingcliche 25th March 2018 at 6:16 pm

        Oh, see over here, locked means trashed. Europeans are so classy!

        • Reply Lorna 25th March 2018 at 6:20 pm

          I have a key that opens all accessible toilets on the same system, I just forgot it.

  • Reply fattymccupcakes 26th March 2018 at 3:50 am

    I LOVE that she announced you had to pee AND poop ???

    I LOVE my online/blog friends. They are the BEST!

    • Reply Lorna 26th March 2018 at 8:21 am

      I thought about announcing that I didn’t actually need to poop, but y’know, nobody actually gives a shit.

  • Reply fancypaperblog 26th March 2018 at 12:55 pm

    I think Isla gets things done and I love it! Having saud That, my father has never had an indoor voice and it us a major bugbear. Embarrassing me for 30 odd years…. did I say he has no filter either?? ??

  • Reply pirateprincessmommy1 26th March 2018 at 2:21 pm

    I am a mother “with no inside voice” who also has a daughter “with no inside voice” Yeah… my husband and son are often embarrassed … opps

    • Reply Lorna 26th March 2018 at 2:58 pm

      Yep, I should mention that her lack of inside voice comes from me. I don’t mind. Nice to meet you, ha! x

  • Reply mrsglivingsimple 26th March 2018 at 2:43 pm

    Don’t you love the loud honesty of small children. I love it when the little is in a public bathroom with me announcing my every move. “Ohhhh, GOOD job pooping ! Yay!!!” Giggling erupts from every stall LOL.

  • Reply Amanda 26th March 2018 at 4:09 pm

    I have two young girls and I totally understand children not having a filter or any sense of modesty yet!!

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