Yes, I'm The Bride. Who Are You?

2nd April 2012

I have a confession to make.  I have not been planning/dreaming of my wedding since I was six years old.  There are no scrapbooks, files, dog-eared wedding magazines from the ‘80’s.  The first and only time I made any kind of short-lived scrapbook, I glued my fingers together.  True story.

Two and a half years ago, I began to picture myself married.  To Sarge.   Being married, that is.  Not the wedding.

And so, when we began to discuss what the actual wedding might look like, I had only a few ideas:

I’d like to get married outside

To Sarge

He’d be in a skirt kilt

And my dress and I would sit comfortably in my chair, at the same time.

With more butterflies than flowers around

This is the list we took venue-shopping a few weeks ago.

Now.  I’d heard that people selling their services don’t like to talk to the groom and direct everything to the bride.  We went to three places.   Two people directed their questions to both of us.  Super cool.  One person spoke only to Sarge.  Not cool.  He was a bit confused when we both answered back.  Which was cool.

The thing is this.  Sarge isn’t marrying himself.  I would be totally supportive if he wanted to, but he doesn’t.  He wants to marry me.  So, yes, Mr Co-ordinator who doesn’t like his job, that makes me the bride.  Disabled people get married, too.  I read it online somewhere.

For me, this means that if we were to get married outside, I’d need a flat aisle.  No carpets over grass.  We’d even make a platform.  But we’d have to be allowed to use it.  Not being allowed to use it would be a little thing called a deal-breaker.  That means we’re going to take our money and our wedding somewhere else.

We have provisionally booked an indoor venue more beautiful than any picture I could have pasted in a scrapbook, if I had one.  Which I don’t.

I do, however, have  some Pinterest boards, which are less messy.  Maybe.

This was taken a year ago. At a wedding. Do we look like we're practicing?

Join the Gin & Lemonade newsletter!

Subscribe to get a roundup of posts and other groovy stuff every week!

Unsubscribe at any time. Powered by ConvertKit

You Might Also Like


  • Reply calypte 2nd April 2012 at 2:59 pm

    One of my mates is a professional photographer, if you need recommendations for that side of things.

    • Reply LKD 3rd April 2012 at 11:06 am

      We actually have too many of those, but thank you!

  • Reply urbannight 2nd April 2012 at 3:38 pm

    For some reason, you being in a chair and visiting wedding coordinators sounds something like me walking into an edged weapon shop with the handicap of being female. I get completely ignored and usually can’t buy what I want until I come back with a male friend just to get the staff to even acknowledge my existence. Some people are just idiots and shouldn’t have jobs working with the public.

    I hope everything works out wonderfully for you two. The picture looks great.

  • Reply Karen 2nd April 2012 at 3:41 pm

    I so enjoy following you (and Sarge of course)!

    • Reply LKD 3rd April 2012 at 10:58 am

      Thanks, Karen! That makes me smile. And I’ve been trying to get Sarge to write a guest post.

  • Reply poetprodigy7 2nd April 2012 at 3:59 pm

    The bit about “disabled people get married too” made me chuckle.

    Try being asked how blind people have sex. Oh the ignorance of the so-called able bodied ones.

    • Reply LKD 2nd April 2012 at 4:07 pm

      Back when I was dating other people, guys asked me if I could have sex. I’d reply: Yes, but not with you.

  • Reply RuthG 2nd April 2012 at 4:16 pm

    The other day when my divorce was finalized, the judge looked only at X when she made her pronouncement & expressed good wishes. NOT COOL. Fortunately, I will never be in the market for a divorce judge again!

    I am VERY happy about your marriage plans, though, & I’m glad you’re steering away from venues whose reps don’t look at you. You’re going to have a beautiful wedding–& an especially beautiful marriage.

  • Reply s0rceress0 2nd April 2012 at 4:18 pm

    Niiiiice! Loved the hookup to Elsa’s story too. Thanks for the great morning read 😀

    • Reply LKD 3rd April 2012 at 11:00 am

      Glad to have you reading!

  • Reply Marj 2nd April 2012 at 5:12 pm


    • Reply LKD 3rd April 2012 at 11:02 am

      Thing is, I can picture you smiling like that, Marj!

  • Reply susartandfood 4th April 2012 at 3:11 pm

    have nominated you for The Versatile Blogger Award – please visit my site at http://www.susartandfood.wordpress.com for details 🙂

  • Reply inkspeare 6th April 2012 at 7:47 pm

    Congratulations and many blessings.

    • Reply LKD 9th April 2012 at 5:02 pm

      Thank you!

  • Reply Helene 10th April 2012 at 3:28 pm

    I’m sure you’ll have a beautiful wedding. I hope you don’t have to deal with too many idiots to get there. It’s a shame people don’t come with warning labels. I’ve always thought that narrow mindedness requires a particularly obvious one.:)

  • Reply subtlekate 11th April 2012 at 3:36 am

    You do look like your practicing and you look great. I haven’t been dreaming of mine either, until recently 🙂

    • Reply LKD 4th May 2012 at 10:12 am

      Recently is good! 🙂

  • Reply barefoot_med_student 21st April 2012 at 7:07 pm

    I’m really enjoying your blog. My dad’s blind and South Africa is notoriously bad at being accessible for any kind of disability. Add that to the fact that he doesn’t use a guide dog. Anyways.
    I find that even my med school classmates (who should be used to anything by now), avert their eyes when talking to people who use for example a wheelchair. Seems that you handle it pretty darn well though, kudos to you.
    Cutest picture also, by the way 🙂

    • Reply LKD 4th May 2012 at 10:11 am

      Yep, I rather enjoy screwing with the Does she take sugar? syndrome!

      And thank you!

  • Reply Blogging Against Disablism Day 2012: This Is How I Roll | Gin & Lemonade 1st May 2012 at 6:10 pm

    […] Yes, I’m The Bride.  Who Are You? […]

  • Reply Mary 4th May 2012 at 8:51 am

    Hi! You don’t know me. But I meandered here via your BADD2012 post and thought I’d say:
    1. I know what you mean.
    2. I had an awesome wedding.
    One thing that might help – I got my wedding dress (there’s a pic on the second post there) from a shop that actually specialised in prom dresses, which meant it was cheaper, it didn’t have a train to deal with, and the floofiness of the skirt was at a much more manageable level. The dresses in wedding-dress-shops were like having a tent put up around me!

    • Reply LKD 4th May 2012 at 9:31 am

      Hi Mary,

      So glad to connect! I can’t say much about it here, but I have found a dress! Now I’m off to read your blog. Nice to meet you!


  • Reply Beth 7th May 2012 at 4:54 pm

    I can totally relate to not thinking/planning/dreaming of your wedding since you were six years old. I was married 6 months ago and I think it made it all the more fun planning with my husband not having all these ideas in my mind.


    • Reply LKD 7th May 2012 at 5:22 pm

      Thanks, Beth and happy 6 months to you. It’s good to connect with you!

  • Reply Two Years Of Shots | Gin & Lemonade 10th August 2012 at 10:02 am

    […] and I went venue shopping, and tried to make our own invitations.  The only thing we made was a mess.  We sent away for […]

  • Reply 2012: The Year That Was | Gin & Lemonade 22nd December 2012 at 2:20 pm

    […] Show, Don’t Tell. This mistake sent me into a darkened room for a while. I came out to go venue-shopping and to process what happened, I wrote […]

  • Reply The Bridal (Hair) Hump and The Sneezes of Doom | Gin & Lemonade 14th January 2013 at 1:27 pm

    […] As I made my way up to Dad and Anne’s flat, I thought about how much I live to surprise people. Not really. Maybe a little. Remember this? […]

  • Leave a Reply

    %d bloggers like this: