Accessibility Disability

12 Somewhat Useful Things To Say When Someplace is Inaccessible

6th February 2018

And so, I’ve been thinking of a P.S. to add to yesterday’s post.  I know I’m not the only person out there who deals with access issues.

Here are some things I’ve actually said to people who own businesses that are kindasortamaybe or completely inaccessible.

Try these next time you’re out:

Could you please remove the bucket/sandwich-board/freaky-looking naked mannequin.  It’s a toilet, not a bin.

No, dude.  I just use it for the parking.

Thank you for putting us to the absolute back of your fine establishment.

But what if I like being a fire hazard?

Because it’s the law, you asshole.

One more question gets an invoice.

A lift does not accessible make.

Contact your local Access Panel.

Touch my head, I’ll break your face.

Hold my beer.

When you say, ‘you people’, do you mean like, Americans?

I’ll just take my money elsewhere.








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  • Reply bluerosegirl08 6th February 2018 at 6:54 pm

    I fell over lauging because I have said or done most of these things.Most of my recurring access issues involve people trying to deny my service dog access with me. It can be exhausting.

    • Reply Lorna 6th February 2018 at 7:00 pm

      Thought of you as I wrote this one!

      • Reply bluerosegirl08 6th February 2018 at 7:30 pm

        Next time some idiot who asks me ridicouls questions I’m using the invoice line. I say touch me and I break your face way more often then I should have to. The address to send the postcard to should be in your inbox btw.

  • Reply Chomeuse with a Chou 6th February 2018 at 7:01 pm

    Go you!!! I hope you left them red-faced with shame and (more likely) embarrassment. Sadly some people will never feel shame. I love your confidence to speak up for yourself, but I hate the fact that you clearly find it necessary to do so far far more often than you ever should (which is never…).

    • Reply Lorna 6th February 2018 at 7:05 pm

      Shame isn’t the issue. Accessible places make more money. Everybody wins.

      • Reply Chomeuse with a Chou 6th February 2018 at 7:07 pm

        Oh very true, but I meant more in terms of the way you are treated and spoken to.

  • Reply Nicole 6th February 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Do you get put in the back even more often now that you have Isla? I’ve noticed that bringing the kids along usually puts me by the rear. Which is usually where the restrooms are, so possibly they think they’re doing me a favor. But my guess is they’re just trying to spare the other diners the hassle of acknowledging that small humans exist. Just curious if you get doubly ostracized for having the gall to have wheels AND a tiny person.

    The fire hazard line made me LOL, btw.

    • Reply Lorna 6th February 2018 at 7:54 pm

      That’s probably it. And yes, I love going around with my much younger sister. 😉 She isn’t, but I get that question, too.

  • Reply englishwithkirsty 6th February 2018 at 7:55 pm

    I’ve had my share of those conversations. Not fun. It’s best if you can not let it get you down but sometimes you just want to have a quiet meal or drink somewhere without having to justify your right to be there! Grr! I think I’ve used no. 3, 5, and 12!

  • Reply TanGental 6th February 2018 at 8:32 pm

    This is like the most back to front flash prompt I’ve seen: ‘in 75 words what triggered these comments’. PS I’m amaxed at the single ‘you asshole’. You’re remarkably controlled Lorna. Who knew!!?

    • Reply Lorna 6th February 2018 at 8:47 pm

      My comments or the post’s comments? And I even crossed it out, ha.

      • Reply TanGental 6th February 2018 at 8:55 pm

        Your comments. They are splendid. Hopefully your life as a mobile fire hydrant will prove useful at the Bash!

        • Reply Lorna 24th September 2018 at 10:22 am

          We never really tested that out, ha! Another time.

  • Reply greercn 7th February 2018 at 12:13 am

    So true! What used to get to me, when I was out and about with my friend Richard, who spent his last years in a wheelchair, was the blank looks when you mentioned something (ever so politely) and the fact that they would always talk to me and not to him. I admit that I came close to swearing, a few times. It’s 2018. How can people still be so unable to see what they are doing?

  • Reply samfiftysomething 7th February 2018 at 4:12 pm

    ? Hilarious! My brother was in a wheelchair so totally understand the frustrations and as the previous comment mentioned, I’d get so mad when people would ignore my brother and talk over his head to us, about him!

  • Reply trulyunplugged 8th February 2018 at 10:04 pm

    You are bright and hilarious, and using your gifts and experiences to broaden minds and promote social justice…if there’s a better combo than this, I can’t imagine what it is! Thanks for sharing 🙂

    • Reply Lorna 9th February 2018 at 10:11 am

      Thanks for reading it and getting it!

      • Reply trulyunplugged 9th February 2018 at 12:33 pm

        My pleasure…and, It is so easy to get 🙂

        • Reply Lorna 9th February 2018 at 12:36 pm

          You’d think. But you’d be surprised, my dear.

  • Reply Lutheranliar 9th February 2018 at 2:34 pm

    Wow. ‘I just use it for the parking’ Awesomesauce. Oh…I promise never EVER to touch your head xo

    • Reply Lorna 9th February 2018 at 6:16 pm

      I believe that one is available on a t-shirt. Ha!

      • Reply Lutheranliar 9th February 2018 at 9:22 pm

        Double dog dare ya to get one (!!!)

  • Reply Invisibly Me 12th February 2018 at 5:55 am

    I love this – I guess you have to see a lighter side sometimes otherwise the world would be far too infuriating and sad a place. These two “But what if I like being a fire hazard?” and Because it’s the law, you asshole” made me chuckle!! xx

    • Reply Lorna 24th September 2018 at 10:21 am

      Kinda my faves, too!

  • Reply Bec - views from my garden bench 23rd September 2018 at 10:50 pm

    my goddaughter (who uses a wheelchair) is just off to Uni… sending her your blog to read. She’s sassy but other suggestions always needed… love Bec x

    • Reply Lorna 24th September 2018 at 10:19 am

      Oh, yay! Thanks for sending along my link, Bec! Please wish her all the best from me, too. And I’m always here for advice and snark.

  • Reply Ellen @ If It Brings You Joy 1st November 2018 at 2:46 pm

    Love that you could provide us humor on a very not-funny topic of people not using their heads!

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