Advice For My Younger Self: Hang On

When I was 29, I made a list. Start a blog was on it. 

Ten years and a bit later, I asked my readers (that would be you, hi) to Ask Me Anything. I answered some questions here, but some questions called for a new post.

Like this one. 

What advice would you give yourself 10 years ago?

That question came from Rachael at Racheal’s Thoughts.

And well, I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

Ten years ago, I was 29. Living with Sarge who was actually Neil. Navigating the cobbled streets of Edinburgh, driving backwards into pubs, and coming home to watch box-sets.

I thought I’d write books from our kitchen table. I thought I’d study to become a counselor on our living room table. I had those kind of boundaries back then, even if there were no walls between the living room and kitchen. I thought I could still become the person I wanted to be ten years before.

Friends would visit and we would stay up late, eating cheesecake and drinking sparkly things (because cider is sparkly). And my advice to them, which they even asked for sometimes, was always better than stuff I would tell myself. I always had more time for my friends than I had for myself. I gave them more space, and I hope I was there for them when they needed me.

So, let’s just say I’m back there at 2 am, on my boyfriend’s ugly brown couch (which I came to love, but would never claim as my own) with a drink of something, sitting across from myself at 29. Being my own best friend.

This is what she needs to hear:

1. You are not old. It’s not too late, and actually it’s all about to happen. Yes, we can have good times and good things. Even be optimistic. Sorry, not sorry.
2. Having said that, maybe get over yourself. Maybe submit the piece of writing that scares you the most, but maybe not. Better things are coming.
3. It doesn’t happen in New York. But when it does it’s better. He will buy you DVDs for your 30th birthday. Get over that, too. Because you’ll find that you still want to propose to him.
4. You will find a fulfilling job outside your house. Say yes a lot. Start a blog, because someone will hire you because of it.
5. Fall. Maybe not in the street, but even that’s a funny story.
6. Dad does get sick. But he gets better. Hang on.
7. Wear the purple dress. But your wedding dress is OK, too.
8. You will have a daughter. It is not that scary. She is just like you, and still not scary. You will spend a lot of time trying to give her what you didn’t have. That’s kind of your job. You can do it.
9. Your girl breaks you but makes you better. Puts you back together. That is not her job. 
10. But you will want to be more like her when you grow up.
11. And, if the kid wants to hang with you, that wins. Secret handshakes are the best.
12. You are not the sarcastic bitch you think you are. Make peace with that.
13. Anxiety is still the biggest bitch in the room. It comes back and stays awhile. Hang on.
14. Hang on, but don’t hide.
15. Don’t hide, but maybe don’t crap on relaxation techniques.
16. You can be happy without being content. Don’t get stuck.
17. Speak your truth.
18. Try working for yourself. Go for 100 rejections a year. Because some will be a yes instead.
19. You will learn that ‘I appreciate your perspective’ is the emptiest comment there is. Compel people to DO something.
20. Keep reading good books.
21. And maybe write a letter to your future self, ten years from 29, or any-nine. Mention you are not too old and is not too late to do the things you want to do.
22. Write the book. And then another.

What advice would you give your younger self?

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